Getting a girlfriend back is definitely possible, but you have to be willing to fix your issues (e.g. clingy behavior) and improve yourself (i.e. become a better man than you already are right now). You can't get an ex girlfriend back by saying that you will improve, you actually have to improve yourself first. You have to get yourself to the point where it makes total sense for her to want you back. You can't get her back if she feels like she will be doing you a favor by getting back with you. If she is inexperienced with relationships, she may make that mistake and take you back before you've changed, but she will then just dump once again when she realizes that you still haven't changed.
Why My Girlfriend Broke Up With Me
The whole reason why I am now the world's expert at getting an ex-girlfriend back is that my girlfriend dumped me for not being enough for a man for her. She called me up one morning, said that she'd kissed a guy at a nightclub the night before and had now realized that she didn't want to be with me anymore. The whole experience killed my confidence and self-esteem and made me avoid meeting new women for quite a long time.
Here's what happened...
Eventually, I got the point where I was sick and tired of being single and feeling lonely and I decided to work out the secrets to success with women, dating and relationships. I wanted to know how to be the type of guy that women would NOT want to break up with...AT ALL. Since discovering what I now teach here at The Modern Man, NO woman has ever wanted to break up with me (not even close). However, despite my new found success with women, I do have a HUGE AMOUNT of empathy for guys who want to get an ex girlfriend back, which is why I've devoted the last 3 years of my life to creating the only real solution to getting an ex back.
The Way a Break Up Usually Works
A few days, weeks or months after a relationship has broken up, most coupls eventually realize that their relationship had run its course and breaking up was a good idea after all. The two individuals move on to a new chapter in their life by dating other people and leaving the past behind them.
However, sometimes the man (for example) is left grieving for months (or even years) and can't think of anything else but how to get his ex girlfriend back. He finds it difficult to eat, sleep and concentrate on anything else for too long before he's back to thinking about his ex. Nothing that anyone says about there being "plenty of fish in the sea" makes any sense to him. He wants his ex-girlfriend back...and he wants her back now. He feels as though what he had with her was truly special and he won't be able to find the same type of love and experience with another woman. While his ex girlfriend gets on with having sex and enjoy love and relationships with new men, he sits around wondering if his ex will ever miss him and want him back. He doesn't want to meet new women or move on from the break up; he just wants her back.
If you're one of the many guys who is wondering, "Can you get your ex girlfriend back?" the answer is a definite YES. However, the question I have for you though is this, "Are you willing to fix your issues and improve yourself before you attempt to contact her again?" If you're not willing to do that, you shouldn't expect her to want to take you back. A woman wants to feel lucky to be with a guy; she doesn't want to feel as though she is doing him a favor. You've got to let her see that you're the sort of guy that other women want, but you are choosing her because you love her. If you give her the impression that you're lost without her and that no other woman is compatible with you, she might come to realize that she is out of your league and you got lucky by hooking up with her in the first place.
Do You Want Her Back or Need Her Back?
The first thing you need to determine is whether you want her back or need her back. This is a very important distinction that changes the whole argument.
If you want her back because what you and her shared was a really good thing that somehow got messed up, you will find it quite easy to get another chance with her. However, if you feel as if you need her back because you're too scared or lazy to go out there and find a new woman, then you probably need to stop and be honest with yourself. If I am to be honest with you as I always am, I would say this:
You may not be able to see it now, but you’ll likely have several more important relationships throughout your life. This woman may be special to you right now, but if you had 3 or 4 other attractive women who were interested in you right now, you probably wouldn't be so worried about losing her. Likewise, if you knew that you could go out and approach a woman and get her phone number or have sex with her on the first night you meet her, you probably wouldn't be so put off by the idea of meeting new women. Additionally, you may not realize that love is truly abundant in this world and although the love you experienced with your ex-girlfriend was special, it doesn't mean there is no more "special love" for you out there. You will always experience love, as long as you are open to it and have the skills to guide a woman into feelings of love for you.
The fact is, you can get your ex back, but you have to get to the point where you don't need her back. The reason I said what I did above is to help you realize that she is NOT the only woman for you in this world. I know that from personal experience and from helping guys to become successful since 2005. When I got dumped, I thought that I'd lost the true love of my life and it sent me into a downward spiral where I lost a lot of confidence in myself. There was no website like this to help me get my ex back, so I had to learn how to pick up new women. Eventually, I became so good with women that I was able to develop my program Get Your Ex Back: Super System, which more than 1,000 guys have now purchased and used to get their ex back. While I do wish that a program like mine was available when I got dumped, I am grateful that I am now skilled and experienced enough with women to help guys like you to get your ex back.
Why Did You and Your Girlfriend Decide to Break Up?
Most breakups don't happen out of the blue. There are usually many warning signs that you either ignored, were too inexperienced to notice or thought were unimportant because you weren't as emotionally involved in the relationship as you should have been. In other words, you attracted her into a relationship, won her over and you then began to take her for granted. Most of the guys who want to get their ex-girlfriend back have either become too needy, too protective or too much of a wuss around her. If that applies to you, then you will need to fix those issues before you will be able to truly get your ex back for real. If you want to fix your issues and insecurities quickly and get her back ASAP, then follow the steps of my system and it will happen for you.
Did You Cheat?
Cheating causes a huge loss of trust that will is very difficult, but not impossible to get past. If you cheated on her, then not only do you have to be sincerely sorry for it, but you have to truly know in your heart that you won't ever do it to her again. If she can see that you are sincere about that, she will slowly regain her trust in you. On the other hand, if she was the one who cheated, then you must determine if you are willing to live with her mistake and not hold it against her in the future.
If you decide to forgive her, but continue to bring it up most times that you have an argument, your relationship will quickly fall apart. So, if you are unable to truly forgive her (I wouldn't), you might as well just move on and find a new girlfriend. However, when you begin a new relationship with the next woman, make sure that the resentment and distrust you felt for your ex-girlfriend isn't carried into your new relationship. You can't punish your new girlfriend for another woman's mistake by being overly suspicious, guarded and not trusting her. That will only set you up for yet another breakup. When it comes to relationship, you can never really trust another human being 100% but you just have to. If you don't give a woman your full trust due your insecurities, then she will gradually lose respect and attraction for you as a man.
Only you can determine if your relationship is worth saving, despite the fact that your girlfriend has openly let another man penetrate her body and mind during sex. If she says she didn't enjoy it and only had sex with him to get over you or get revenge, she is most likely lying. The last time I checked (...last night!), sex IS VERY enjoyable, so she "probably" enjoyed it. Deciding whether you will forgive and forget is a very personal choice and you should think long and hard about it before making a decision. Only you know how much you're willing risk to be with her. However, if you are only willing to forgive her because you are scared to face the world alone, then prepare for further heartbreak. She will sense your weakness, it will turn her off at a deep level and she will break up with you once again.
"We Have to Talk"
If you missed or ignored all of the warning signs that your girlfriend was unhappy, how you handle the inevitable "We have to talk" discussion can greatly affect the speed at which you get her back.
Most women will never tell you the real reason why they want to break up with you and will just say something like, "I need space" or "I need to have some time by myself to think." Why? Many women are instinctively scared of breaking up with a man because, for most of human history, men could get away with killing their woman. In today's day and age, men still kill women for breaking up with them, but it is less common because of the police presence and the consequence of being put in jail for life. However, the instinct and fear is still there.
If a woman says, "I think we’ve changed as people. I don't know if this is going to work" it means that she feels as though you aren't compatible for a relationship. It can also mean that she wants to live the single life and have fun, whereas you want to settle down. If she is upset that you didn’t spend enough time together, you watched too much sports, you weren't ready to commit or other simple things that you can fix, then getting her back will be pretty easy. However, if the break up is due to her losing respect and attraction for you because you became too needy, clingy, protective or insecure, then you will need to fix your issues and improve yourself before she will be willing to open her heart to you again.
All Talk, No Action
Telling her that you're going to change doesn't work. Your ex-girlfriend will only begin to believe you when you she can actually see the changes happening before her eyes. For instance, if you were insecure and needy, she will want to see that you're now confident and not dependant on her for your personal happiness and emotional security. How do you display that to her, especially if she has blocked you out of her life? Follow the steps of my system and she will be open herself back up to you and want to meet up with you in person.
The Do's and Don'ts if You Have Already Broken Up
- Don't plead, beg, whine or otherwise put yourself into a position where you're giving up your power in the relationship. It won't have the effect you desire, but will instead cause her to lose respect attraction for you and feel like she wants to get further away from you. Women are most attracted to men who are mentally and emotionally strong, so showing emotional weakness like that is not going to turn her on at all.
- Don't hound her with calls, letters and text messages. The more pressure you put on her, the more she will want to distance herself from you. You and her were individuals before you met each other, you were individuals while you were in a relationship (despite how close you both felt) and you are both individuals right now. She is an individual and can do whatever she wants with her individual life, just like you can. If you make her feel as though she doesn't have the freedom of choice as an individual human being, it will make her want to get further away from you.
- Don't call her friends or family and ask for their help because you miss her so much and you want her back. You'll embarrass and anger her and what might have been a potentially friendly breakup with a possibility of reconciliation will turn into her telling you to stay out of her life forever.
- Do demonstrate that you're still happy with or without her. Talk confidently, do fun things, catch up with friends, go out to party and enjoy yourself.
- Do display the humor, charm and confidence that originally attracted her to you.
- Do post photos on Facebook of you hanging out with other women and having a good time with friends. This works better than trying to convince her to take you back. Let her see that you're a valuable guy, that you are happy with or without her and that other women enjoy being around you. When she sees that, she will contact you in some way (e.g. text, Facebook, phone call). I've helped 1,000s of guys get their ex back and just by showing that they are happy without her (via Facebook), usually results in the ex-girlfriend contacting him to say hi. Then, he has an opening to demonstrate how much he has changed and then arrange a meet up.
- Do fix any insecurities you have with women or feelings of nervousness or feelings of intimidation around beautiful women. In other words, become an alpha male.
Will You Get Her Back?
If your relationship was not meant to be anything more than it was, then you'll need to accept that you've just been through a difficult learning experience and then take the lessons that you've learned from this relationship into the next to make it more successful.
However, if you and your girlfriend are meant to get back together and if she really does love you and want you back, she will definitely realize that and then contact you. Sometimes, a woman will run back to you as soon as she sees that she's lost something valuable (e.g. when you post up photos on Facebook of you enjoying your life with women and friends). Sometimes, she will need to "get out there" and date for a while before realizing that she is meant to be with you. However, if your girlfriend broke up with you because you became wimpy, clingy, needy or too protective, then you defintely need to fix that first before she will open herself up to you again.
Have a Question About Your Situation?
Please read the 100+ questions that guys have already asked on this page. I have spent about 10 hours replying to the questions below this article (see comments below), so you will most likely find the answer that you want and will also learn a great deal more than you expected to.