If your girlfriend wants to take a break and you’re feeling confused about what that really means, this post will clear it up for you.
The first thing that you need to understand is this…
1. A temporary break is usually a woman’s way of softening the blow of an actual break up
If a woman feels as though she can easily break up with her boyfriend and he won’t really care, she will usually just come out and ask for a break up directly.
For example: She might say, “Okay, I want this relationship to be over. You and I aren’t a good match. Let’s break up and just be friends” and the guy will then accept it and they will part as friends.
However, if a woman feels as though her boyfriend isn’t going to take the news well and is going to cling to her, bug her and stay in her life regardless of her request for a break up, she will try to work out other ways that she can gradually get out of the relationship.
Additionally, some women also have a fear that their boyfriend might become angry or violent when he hears the news that she doesn’t want to be with him anymore.
So, a lot of women tend to soften the blow on an actual by saying that they want a break for a while (or they need some space) to help keep the guy calm and ensure that she remains safe and unharmed during the process.
If you have found yourself in the unfortunate situation where you’re saying, “My girlfriend wants to take a break” there’s about a 95% chance (based on all my experience helping guys to get women back) that she is simply trying to break up with you.
There are some cases (approximately 5%) where it’s not about breaking up (e.g. she is very busy with work or studies, is having health issues, her boyfriend is being too clingy and she needs some time for herself, etc), but in most cases a “break” is simply a gentle way to build up to an actual break up.
So, what should you do about it?
What you need to do is ensure that you’re not saying or doing things around her that will turn her off even further (e.g. being insecure, getting emotional, begging, crying, pleading, etc).
You need to ensure that you start to build on her feelings of love, respect and attraction for you at this point, rather than further destroying her feelings.
For example: If a boyfriend suddenly begins to beg, plead or cry to his girlfriend when she tries to break up with him, she will lose even more respect and attraction for him.
Why? Women are naturally attracted to the emotional strength in men (e.g. confidence, high self-esteem, emotional toughness) and turned off by the emotional weakness (e.g. insecurity, low self-esteem, emotional sensitivity, etc).
If she says that she wants to be friends, I recommend that you take her up on that offer, but don’t actually act like a friend.
Watch this video for more info…
Just use the so called “friendship” to ensure that you and her remain in communication, so you can make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you and her back.
However, don’t tell her that!
Just accept the friendship and agree that you and her can still stay in touch as friends during the break.
2. This is actually an opportunity for you to make her realize that you are the man for her
If your girlfriend says that she wants to take a break, the best approach is to let her explain herself and then accept the break.
Tell her that you love her and that you care about her, but if that’s what she wants, then you are happy to give her that time.
By taking that approach with her, she will see that you are an emotionally mature guy who isn’t going to get crazy, angry, violent or turn into a stalker if she breaks up with you.
You are mature and you can handle a situation like that, which will actually make her feel more respect and attraction for you as a man.
3. You should give her space for a few days, but don’t wait too long
After you’ve accepted her request to take a break, give her that space for a few days, but don’t wait around too long hoping that if you just ignore her (e.g. using the No Contact Rule), she will come running back to you.
The only time when the No Contact Rule really works is when a woman really loves the guy and wants to be with him, but just needs a little bit of time apart because they are experiencing relationship problems (e.g. constant arguing, too much jealousy, etc).
In cases like that, the woman will remember all the good times, miss her boyfriend, text or call him and meet up so they can get back together.
However, if your girlfriend is sick and tired of how you’ve been making her feel and sincerely wants to break up with you, she will simply try to move on during the No Contact phase.
So, don’t leave it for too long.
I’ve personally dealt with many cases (via my phone coaching service) where a guy has stopped contacting his girlfriend for 30 days and she moved on because she thought he didn’t care about her, or assumed he was doing it because he was moving on.
Don’t play games with her like that.
Simply give her some space for a few days, reach out to her with a text like, “Hey – how you are doing? Just thought I’d tell you that I miss you and I love you.”
Regardless of how she replies to your text, you then need to get her on a phone call by either calling her (if you think she will answer) or texting her first with something like, “Hey – I know that we’re taking time apart, but I will give you a quick call to say hello for a minute.”
When you call her, you need to make sure that you are making her feel respect and attraction for you over the phone, by being emotionally strong, emotionally mature and not the same old communication mistakes that you would make when talking to her in the past.
You then need to meet up with her and let her experience the new and improved you, so she can feel differently around you and change her mind about the break up.
If you want to know exactly what to say to get your girlfriend to meet up with you and then what to say and do to get the relationship back together, I recommend that you watch my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System
4. She could have another guy lined up
If your girlfriend wants to take a break, it can also mean that she has another guy lined up (e.g. a co-worker, a fellow student at university, an ex-boyfriend, a friend, etc) to replace you during the break period.
Her asking to take a break from you or the relationship could actually mean that she wants to feel less guilty as she explores a possible relationship with him.
Based on all my experience helping guys to get women back, I’ve found that a lot of the times when a woman says that she wants to take a break from her boyfriend, she will also add in that she isn’t going to be seeing anyone during that time and she doesn’t want him to date new women either.
Essentially, she is asking him to remain faithful to her as though they are together, but they are technically broken up.
Yet, a woman will often say that to ensure that her boyfriend doesn’t move on before she does, because she doesn’t want to feel the pain of being left behind by him.
She wants to be put herself in the position where she can say, “Ummm, there’s something I need to tell you. Don’t get angry, but during our time apart, I met someone else.”
That way, she gets out of the relationship cleanly (e.g. she doesn’t feel the pain of her boyfriend moving on with a woman before she finds a guy, she has a new boyfriend so she can use that as a way to refuse to meet up with her now ex-boyfriend).
If you ask her something like, “Are you asking to take a break because you want to see another guy?” she will almost certainly say, “No” because women have a fear of their boyfriend becoming angry or violent and she most-likely won’t want to create a drama between you and the other guy.
So, if your gut instinct is telling you that your girlfriend is the type of woman who will start seeing another guy during the break period, then you need to proceed to the meet up as soon as possible so you can get her back before she hooks up with him.
On the other hand, if you feel as though you don’t want to get a woman like her back, then you need to cut off all communication with her and start hooking up with other women as soon as possible.
If you don’t do that (in either case), she will most-likely lead you on (i.e. give you hope that you and her will get back together) until she eventually says, “There’s something that I need to tell you.”
She will then proceed to tell you that she is happy with the new guy, they are boyfriend and girlfriend and she doesn’t want anything to do with you.
It’s a harsh, horrible experience to go through as a guy, so I would recommend that you fix things with her before it gets to that point.
Fixing things between you and her essentially comes down to you stopping saying and doing the kinds of things that have been turning her off and starting to make her feel respect, attraction and love for you in new and exciting ways.
For example: If a girlfriend is attempting to dump her boyfriend because she is turned off at how insecure he is, she will feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him if he suddenly becomes a very confident guy.
If he previously gave her too much power in the relationship and let her push him around, she will feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him if he suddenly takes on the role of being an assertive, but loving boyfriend who leads the way and doesn’t let himself get pushed around.
If she lost interest in him because he didn’t really make her feel much attraction anymore, she will be excited to see that she now feels differently around him and she will become open to giving the relationship another chance.
5. Texting her will not fix the problem
These days, pretty much everyone has a smartphone or tablet device and is connected to the internet all the time, so it’s very easy for a boyfriend to send messages to his girlfriend via social media, text or e-mail her.
Yet, it’s usually the worst approach to use when trying to get a girlfriend back after a break up or during a break period.
Why? If your girlfriend has asked for a break because she is sick and tired of the mistakes you’ve been making (e.g. being insecure, clingy, controlling, taking her for granted, etc), then she’s not going to believe that you’ve changed based on how you text her.
She’s going to have to hear the changes in how you talk to her (i.e. your tonality, how you express yourself, how you react to her during conversation, etc) and observe you in person to truly believe that you’ve learnt your lesson and really have changed.
Even if you have changed, a girlfriend isn’t automatically going to be willing to take you back. What matters most is not that you’ve changed, but that she feels differently when she is around you.
This comes down to your ability to trigger her feelings of respect, attraction and love while you interact with her in person or on the phone. It’s not something that can ever be achieved by text though because the text isn’t you.
So don’t ever think that texting her is going to fix the real problems between you and her.
In most cases, texting makes things worse because the guy comes across as being desperate when he tries to explain himself via long text messages, which turn his girlfriend off and give her too much power in the situation.
Pouring your heart out to your girlfriend via text, social media messages, e-mails or letters is not the way to get her back.
None of those forms of communication have the same type of instant impact like a phone call or in-person meet up, where your girlfriend can actually experience the new and improved you.
If you are planning on getting your girlfriend back after the short break, you will need to get her on a phone call and meet up with her in person.
Whatever you do, just don’t hide behind text and don’t waste time trying to explain yourself via text, e-mail or other messages.
Based on all my experience helping guys to get women back, texting is usually just a waste of time and ends up pushing the woman away further.
If you don’t know exactly what to say on the phone or what to do to get her back when you meet up with her in person, all of that is explained in Get Your Ex Back: Super System
6. Sometimes a break is needed because the guy is being too clingy or needy
If your girlfriend does want to be with you, but simply wants to take a break because she feels smothered in the relationship, it will be pretty easy to get her back.
As long as you have been a great boyfriend and she respects you, feels attracted to you and is still in love with you, the space will simply make her miss you and want to be around you.
When you do get back together, you need to establish a new, mutual understanding of how you are both going to approach the relationship so neither or you feels smothered or neglected.
If you have been clingy, you need to show her that you now have a much more balanced approach to life and your relationship with her.
For example: You are now striving to achieve your biggest goals and ambitions in life, rather than being so focused on her all the time.
You still spend time with her, love her, respect her and want her, but you are now rising through the levels of life to reach for your true potential as a man at the same time.
When your girlfriend sees that you now realize how to be a more balanced man in a relationship, she will relax and won’t have to worry about you becoming clingy or needy.
She will know that you want her in your life, but you don’t need her for a sense of identity like you did in the past, because you are now forming a stronger sense of identity by living a life with more purpose (i.e. following through to achieve your biggest goals and ambitions in life).
It may take you 10, 20 or even 40 years to achieve your biggest goals in life, but the point is that you are now doing that. You’re not a confused, lost guy who still doesn’t understand that he needs to stand up and be a man that she can be proud to be with in the long run.
7. You can get her back
Right now, you might be feeling a bit sad, angry or even betrayed by your girlfriend for asking to take a break from you and the relationship.
You might also feel confused about how you are going to fix the problem and get her back.
The good news is that it’s actually very easy to get a woman back, as long as you follow the right process.
Essentially, what you need to do is make your girlfriend feel a strong, renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, apologize for your mistakes and show her that you really have changed as a man.
She might not accept you back immediately, but if you want her back, you are going to need to believe in yourself and in the love that you and her once shared.
When you maintain belief in yourself and follow the right process, the relationship will naturally get back together on the first or second meet up.
If want to follow a step-by-step plan to get her back, I recommend that you watch my revolutionary program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System