Here are 5 possible reasons why she likes you, but doesn’t want a relationship…
1. She just wants to have casual sex with you
These days, most people lead fairly busy lives (e.g. work, study, maintaining friendships, staying in touch with family, exercising, relaxing, etc) and don’t always have time for a full time, committed relationship.
Additionally, many women don’t want to rush into settling down into a committed relationship with a guy just because she likes him and he likes her. Sometimes, she just wants to have casual sex for a while without having to get into a serious relationship.
Even though a woman won’t admit it to other people (because they might think she is slutty), she will usually be perfectly happy to have casual sex relationships for most of her late teens, 20s and even into her early 30s before she feels ready to settle down.
Here are some statistics to show you what I mean:
- An American survey found that the amount of men that a woman has sex with before getting married has almost doubled from 3.7 men to 7.7 men in the last 10 years.
- An American study found that 55% of couples had sex on their first date.
- A study in the UK found that 51% of women admitted to having experienced a one night stand.
- A study in Europe found that 70% of women admitted to having experienced a one night stand.
A woman will stop having casual sex and fully settle down with a guy if he really is the right guy for her, but statistics show that approximately 50% of relationships break up at some point anyway, so a guy really has to know how to keep a relationship strong in the long run, otherwise it will simply fall apart over time.
I know that all too well because I got dumped by the love of my life a long time ago, before the internet had people online helping each other out.
I then became the sort of guy that a woman would never want to leave, slept with more than 250 women and I recently accepted my sexy girlfriend’s marriage proposal (she was 20 and I was 35 when we met) and I’m now happily married (we’ve been together almost 3 years now).
So, if you have found yourself in a situation where you’re saying, “She likes me, but doesn’t want a relationship,” you should stop asking her for a relationship and simply proceed to kissing her and having sex with her, so you have begin a casual sex relationship.
When you kiss a woman, it immediately changes everything from being friendly to sexual and the doors then open to have sex.
When you have sex with a woman, the only thing left to do then is begin some kind of relationship and it’s at that point (with the majority of modern women) that a relationship will begin.
However, asking a modern woman for a relationship before you’ve had sex with her will usually result in her saying something like, “I’m not ready for a relationship right now” or “Maybe in the future, but not now because I am busy with…” or “I really like you, but I wouldn’t be able to give you what you want in a relationship.”
In other words, she is saying to you, “Dude, just kiss me and have sex with me. Quit talking about a serious relationship.”
So, how can you get to a first kiss with her?
Get you and her into a situation where you’re either hanging out at her place or your place on the couch watching a movie, TV or having some drinks, or arrange to go out and party to have some drinks with some friends.
In either of those situations, you then need to build up her feelings of sexual attraction for you and when the moment is right (e.g. you and her are alone at the party, she is cuddling into you on the couch at home, etc), simply move in for the kiss.
If you can’t work up the courage to kiss her, you can always use my trusty Goodbye Hug technique. Here’s how it works…
When she is about to leave your house or when one of you is leaving the party, simply say to her, “Okay, come here and give me a goodbye hug” and then move into hug her.
Hold the hug for a couple of seconds and then pull back a little (still holding onto her, but only gently now) and look her in the eyes.
If she maintains eye contact with you and doesn’t pull away, she wants you to lean in for a kiss. If she squirms, looks away or pulls away from you, she doesn’t want to kiss.
As long as she gives you positive signals that she wants to kiss (the signals may only last 1-3 seconds based on how confident or shy she is), you must be confident and lean in for the kiss.
2. She’s not attracted to you yet
If this woman likes you, but doesn’t want a relationship, it can often be her way of saying that she likes you as a person, but isn’t sexually attracted to you yet.
A situation like this can happen if a guy has simply been acting really nice a woman he likes, trying to be polite, friendly and courteous to show her that he is a good, trustworthy guy.
There’s nothing wrong with being nice to a woman, but simply acting like that around her doesn’t create feelings of sexual attraction inside of her.
Watch this video to understand why…
As you will discover from the video above, making her feel friendly affection towards you is not enough to make her want to have a sexual relationship with you.
If you want to have a relationship with a modern woman, you must begin by making her feel sexually attracted and turned on by you. Women now select men for sex and relationships based on sexual attraction, not niceness.
To make her feel attracted to you, simply display some of the behaviors, personality traits and inner qualities that naturally attract women (e.g. be confident around her, make her feel girly and feminine in comparison to your masculinity, be charismatic, make her laugh, be a challenge for her to win over rather than handing yourself to her on a silver platter, etc).
When you make her feel attracted to you, she will then become open to having sex with you and seeing where it goes. So, from now on, you need to stop trying to be her friend and trying to show her how good and trustworthy of a guy you are.
She already knows that you’re a good guy.
She wants to feel sexually aroused when she talks to you, not just friendly and neutral. She wants to feel hot down there and feel like she wants to jump on you and start kissing you because you’re turning her on so much.
She might be going around saying, “I don’t want a relationship right now,” but if she meets another guy who has the skill of being able to attract her and turn her on, he will almost certainly begin kissing her and having sex with her on the first night or first date.
So, if you don’t want to lose your opportunity with her, you must switch your focus to attraction, rather than trying to convince her that you’re a good guy or that you will treat her well in a relationship.
3. She prefers guys who are more of a challenge
What a lot of guys don’t realize (or forget) about women is that it’s very easy for a woman to attract guys for sex and a relationship.
If a woman is attractive or even decent looking, most guys will have sex with her once and many of those guys will also be interested in a relationship.
All of that happens simply based on her appearance.
She doesn’t have to say or do anything else to impress the majority of guys (at least 95%) in this world because they will happily stick it in her at least once and many of those guys will also want to have a relationship with her for a while or for life.
The same rule of attraction does not apply when women select men for sex or relationships.
The majority of women (approximately 95%) will not have sex with a guy once simply based on his looks and they also won’t want to have a relationship just because he looks good either.
Yes, women can feel attracted to a guy’s looks, but most women place more importance on the attraction that they feel to a guy’s personality traits, behaviors and inner qualities (e.g. his confidence, charisma, masculinity, humor, self-esteem, etc) than his looks.
Some women place a lot of importance on looks, but most women place more importance on how a guy’s personality, behavior and inner qualities makes her feel.
This is why there is always a mismatch of expectations when men and women meet each other.
Most men are ready to have sex or try a relationship with almost any attractive or decent looking woman they meet, whereas most women interact with men in OFF mode and need to have their attraction switched to ON based on how a guy’s personality and behavior makes her feel during an interaction.
Watch this video to understand how a woman’s attraction for a man really works…
Most guys don’t understand how a woman’s attraction for a man really works, so they interact with women and show loads of interest in her right away without triggering her feelings of attraction or making her feel as though she needs to impress him.
As a woman grows up, she quickly gets bored of how easy 95% of guys are to attract and get interested for sex.
As a result, she develops a desire to meet a guy who is a bit more of a challenge to win over. A guy who likes her and finds her attractive, but isn’t completely sold on her unless she impresses him, treats him well and meets his standards.
Watch this video to learn more…
Have you been enough of a challenge for this woman you like?
Do you give her attention, compliments, treat her well and try to impress her no matter what she does or how she treats you?
4. She is worried that you would get too clingy in a relationship
If a guy really likes a girl and is thinking things like, “I don’t think I could ever find another girl like her” or “She is really special. She is different than other girls. I believe that we are soul mates and meant to be together,” then he will usually be coming across in a way that makes a woman put her guard up.
By observing his body language, listening to what he says to her and watching how he behaves around her, she may feel as though he is way too invested in her already and will be potentially becoming clingy, insecure, controlling and very jealous in a relationship.
There’s nothing wrong with really wanting a woman and having loving feelings for her, but when a guy gets wide-eyed and has that naïve approach to relationships where he sees a woman as being the answer to all of his problems in life, a woman’s guard will go up.
Instinctively, women know that a guy who lacks purpose in life and is obsessed with a woman will usually become clingy and be a nightmare to break up with (e.g. he will beg, cry and plead with her or in extreme cases, a guy might even get angry, violent or turn into a stalker who doesn’t allow her to leave his life).
So, if you have been showing way too much interest in having a relationship with this woman you like, you need to relax and start focusing on making her feel sexually attracted to you.
You need to show her that you have a more balanced approach to life now (i.e. you are reaching for biggest goals and ambitions and dreams as a man and making progress), while also giving some of your time and attention to her.
If you don’t approach life like a man is supposed to (i.e. your main priority is your purpose in life and a woman is your second priority), her guard will almost certainly remain up and she will be worried that you would become obsessed with her if you she got into a relationship with you.
5. She’s too busy with work or university to be in a committed relationship
Some women are very career focused and purpose driven, so they prioritize their life plans as being more important than hanging out and wasting time with a boyfriend instead of working on their goals.
For example: If a woman is trying to get promoted at work and is taking work home with her to impress her boss or do an amazing job on a project, she’s not going to have much time for a boyfriend who will want to see her several nights a week.
She will have time for a “friends with benefits” casual sex relationship or for a one night stand on a weekend, but she’s not going to be available for a madly in love boyfriend who will want to see her 3-4 times a week.
Likewise, if a woman is still at university and is trying to get through her exams, she isn’t going to want to waste time cuddling on the couch for hours, watching TV and talking about random things with a boyfriend.
She will be interested in some casual sex, but she will only want to have it with a guy who isn’t going to become clingy and a lot of her time. A guy who can relax, let her do her own thing and be willing to see her whenever is the kind of guy she will sleep with, as long as he also makes her feel sexually attracted.
Note: Don’t waste time trying to convince her that you are willing to see her whenever and think that it will work. If you haven’t been triggering her feelings of sexual attraction for you, she’s not going to care about what you are willing to do, because she won’t even be interested in you in that way.
If you want her to change her mind, you have to approach this correctly…
How to Change Her Mind
If you want to go from saying, “She likes me, but doesn’t want a relationship” to “She loves me and won’t stop having sex with me” you need to focus on triggering her feelings of sexual attraction and showing her that you are not going to be obsessed and clingy after you have sex with her.
Don’t waste time trying to explain that you are not going to be obsessed or clingy in a relationship, because she will most-likely assume that you’re simply trying to convince her to give you a chance.
Women hate to be put in a situation where a guy is essentially saying, “Give me a chance” because pretty much every guy who doesn’t know how to attract her ends up acting like that.
She wants you to make her feel sexually attracted to you, have sex with her and then make her feel like she’d be lucky if she got to have a relationship with you.
She doesn’t want to feel as though she’d be doing you a favor by accepting you as her boyfriend. She wants to feel lucky to be chosen by you.
Some guys think that it would be mean to treat a woman in that way, but remember what I said about 95% of the guys that a woman meets in her life; they offer her no challenge and that is extremely boring and uninspiring to her.
You’ve got to give her what she really wants, not what you think is a nice thing to do.
When she can see that you have relaxed, have a much more balanced approach to life and most importantly – are now making her feel sexually attracted and turned on when you interact with her, she will instantly begin to change how she feels about you.
As a result of feeling sexually attracted to you, sexual tension will immediately begin to build up between you and her and she will want to release that sexual tension with kissing and sex.
After you’ve kissed her and had sex, the dynamic between you will change (from friends to lovers) and you can then begin to talk about how often you and her should see each other.
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