The life of an alpha male is usually easier and less stressful than the life of a lower ranking male (e.g. beta male, omega male).

Women want him, guys respect him and he goes after what he wants with confidence, determination and an expectation that he will succeed. Generally speaking, most people accept that he will get the hottest women, get promoted at work and achieve whatever he puts his mind to.

Women open themselves up to him, guys follow his lead and the world generally gets out of his way as he heads towards the goals that he wants to achieve. If anything gets in his way, he just climbs over it or works a way around it and then continues onto victory.

You don’t have to be an alpha male if you’d prefer to be a lower ranking male, but if you’re not alpha, you will definitely experience some negative consequences throughout your life…

9 Negative Consequences of Not Being an Alpha Male

A woman not feeling enough attraction for a guy to justify dating him

Some of the many negative consequences of living your life as a lower-ranking male are:

1. Not being attractive enough for most women
Women are more attracted to alpha males than any other type of male (e.g. beta male, omega male). It’s just how nature works.

A woman may accept a guy who lacks the alpha male mindset, but she will never feel as much attraction for him as she would for an alpha male. Most of the guys who come to me looking for help on how to get an ex back are guys who have either never been an alpha male or who lost touch with their masculinity and became a bit of a wuss, needy guy, clingy guy, etc in the relationship.

2. Feeling nervous or anxious in social situations

A real alpha male doesn’t feel nervous or anxious in social situations because he full believes in himself and expects to be liked.

He knows that he is more than good enough for women to like him and for men to respect him. Why? He decided that he is. His perception of himself is much more important than what others “might” think. He bases his confidence on how he thinks, not on how others might think.

A lower ranking male will decide that he isn’t good enough, so he will feel worried about being rejected, laughed at, humiliated, overlooked or embarrassed in front of others. This type of thinking naturally makes him feel nervous and anxious.

3. Lacking the confidence to approach attractive women

Afraid to approach women

An alpha male knows that he deserves attractive women, so he simply approaches and expects to be liked.

A lower ranking male doubts himself and feels like he isn’t good enough for the types of women he finds attractive. His lower ranking male thinking causes him to feel fear, nervousness or anxiety when he wants to approach a woman that he finds attractive.

4. Being picked on

Bad boys, jerks and assholes almost always look for “easy targets” to pick on, so they can feel better about themselves. They avoid picking on an alpha male because they know that he is much more confident than they are.

5. Being overlooked by women

Being overlooked by women

When faced with a choice, a woman will almost always choose an alpha male over a beta male or other lower-ranking male. Why? The alpha male’s confidence and masculinity are sexually attractive to her.

These days, most women don’t desperately need a man to provide them with food, shelter and protection because they can earn their own money and be protected by the police, government and media. So, women now choose guys based on sexual attraction.

Displaying alpha male characteristics is one of the quickest ways to make a woman feel sexually attracted to you. Instead of putting lots of effort into trying to “get to know her” during a conversation or taking her out to expensive dinners, you can make her want to have sex with you right away by triggering her natural attraction to alpha male traits.

6. Being with a woman who wishes she could be with an alpha male

Wishing she could have an alpha male

A lower ranking male may be able to get himself a girlfriend or even a wife, but she will always secretly wish that she could be with an alpha male instead.

At the very least, she will fantasize about being with an alpha male when she masturbates. Most guys don’t realize that when a woman masturbates she will think about a confident, masculine man having sex with her.

If she is in love with her alpha male boyfriend or husband, she will often imagine him. However, if she is with a lower ranking male who doesn’t make her feel the type of attraction she really wants to feel, she will imagine other men instead.

Women in this position are much more likely to cheat or have an affair when the spark dies out of the relationship. In the past, women had to stay with a man for life even if they were unhappy because it was shameful to get a divorce, so they usually just had affairs while they husband was working.

These days, it’s not as shameful to divorce anymore, so unhappy women usually just get a divorce, take half of the guy’s money and try to attract themselves a guy with more alpha male characteristics than their ex.

I see this happening often because I help guys to get an ex girlfriend, fiance or wife back. It’s sad to see because in most cases, the guy is a really good guy, but no-one ever told him that being an alpha male is not a bad thing.

Most guys grow up thinking that the key to success with women and life is to be very nice all the time. Yet, it’s not. The key to success with women is to be a good guy who knows how to attract women when he meets them and then how to deepen the love, respect and attraction of a woman in a relationship.

7. Being overlooked for promotions

Managerial or leadership promotions (these are usually the best paying jobs) almost always go to the alpha male or the most charismatic guy. Lower-ranking males aren’t usually given positions of leadership and power unless they have a lot of skill in a specific area.

However, if an alpha male comes along who has just as much skill as the lower-ranking male, the alpha male will eventually be made boss and the lower-ranking male will be his assistant and get paid less. It’s just how nature works.

8. Having less friends than the average person

A lack of friends

Think about the types of guys that you’ve met in life and wished you could be friends with. They are more alpha than you, right?

Humans are instinctively wired to get close to alpha males because for most of human history, an alpha male offered the best protection and best chance for survival. Even in today’s world with our supermarkets, police and internet, being around an alpha male is still safer than being around a lower ranking male.

Guys feel “cool” when they have alpha male friends and women feel proud and excited to have an alpha male boyfriend. No woman is excited and proud to be with a lower ranking male, except other lower ranking males who think that being an alpha male is wrong, selfish or mean.

9. Being disrespected by people

For most of human history, the alpha male could punish or kill someone for disobedience and get away with it. Even though we have police, media and courts, people still have an instinctive fear of being punished by an alpha male for stepping out of line.

On the other hand, most people don’t feel the need to respect lower ranking males or grant them the full privileges that an alpha male enjoys. Some people are nice and generous to even the most wimpy of guys, but most people instinctively only give their full respect to alpha males or alpha females.

How to Be an Alpha Male

Being an alpha male simply means that you expect to be respected, you expect that women will like you and want to be with you and you expect that you will win or succeed at whatever you do. Having that type of default expectation allows you to feel confident and go after what you want without fear.

The confidence of an alpha male is irresistibly attractive to women because life is challenging and throughout human history and still to this day, it has almost always been better for a woman to align herself with a stronger minded man than a weaker minded one.

Being an Alpha Male is Not About Being an Asshole

Guys who aren’t alpha usually assume that to be an alpha male, they will have to stop being nice to people. They will have to be like those jerks, assholes or bad boys they’ve come across so far in life.

Understandably, this is a huge turn off for good guys. If you’re a good guy, you most-likely don’t want to have to become a bad guy to make women feel attracted to you and make men respect you.

The good news is that you don’t have to become a bad guy. Yes, there are some “bad boy alpha males” out there, but those guys are the minority. The majority of alpha males are “good guy alpha males” and that is what we provide advice on here at The Modern Man.

You Don’t Have to Be the One and Only Alpha Male in a Group

In tribal times, there would be one alpha male amongst a small group of men and women. He would have to be the most dominant and would often have to fight to maintain his dominance.

In today’s world, there can be several alpha males in a group situation because we are no longer confined to one tribe. If you are in a group situation and other alpha males are present, it’s not about competing with them and trying to show that you’re the “top dog.” Just be one of the alpha males.

You don’t have to fight for dominance in every group that you’re a part of or in every environment you spend time in (e.g. at work, among friends, eating a restaurant).

To gain the modern benefits of being an alpha male (i.e. women want you, men respect you, your boss promotes you or your staff respect you if you are a business owner), you simply have to display alpha male traits (e.g. confidence, assertiveness, leadership, drive, fearlessness, etc).

Woman feeling attracted to a guy who is displaying some alpha male characteristics

You don’t have to be the one and only alpha male in a group situation or in any environment you find yourself. You can be one of the alpha males. There is room for more than one alpha male in group situations these days, because you are not tied to one group for life like men were in tribal times.

Why Do Women Hook Up With Bad Boy Alpha Males?

I often get contacted by guys here at The Modern Man who complain to me about how they often see beautiful, intelligent women hooking up with jerks and bad boy alpha males.

What these guys fail to realize is that women are attracted to their alpha male traits (e.g. confidence and masculinity), but would sincerely prefer a good guy who was just as confident as the bad boy.

The absolute truth of the matter is that most women do NOT want to be in a relationship with a bad person, but they are so attracted to alpha male traits that they will sometimes put up with a jerk or a bad boy just so they can experience the attraction that they feel to alpha male qualities.

Here’s another way of explaining it….

You probably want a intelligent, beautiful, down-to-Earth, loyal, respectable woman for a girlfriend or wife, right? Yet, probably also get really excited when you look at slutty women in porn, right?

Do you also find strippers sexy when they dance naked on on stage and bend over to show you their pussy? Of course you do.


You are attracted to things about women that you cannot control. Even though the stripper or pornstar may not be a nice, intelligent woman that you could introduce to your parents, you can help yourself from feeling attracted to her.

The same applies to women.

When they meet a guy who displays alpha male characteristics, they can’t stop themselves from feel an intense, natural attraction for him even if he isn’t the nicest guy in the world.

So, when you see a woman with a “bad boy” or a “jerk” just understand that she is simply giving in to her feelings of attraction.

She knows that it would be BETTER to be with a good guy alpha male who is just as confident as the bad boy, but those men are very hard to find. Good guy alpha males are almost always taken or dating several women at once, so many women hook up with bad boys and assholes just so they can experience the attraction they feel to any type of strong alpha male trait.

If you are a good guy who also displays alpha male traits, you are like a 10/10 to women. Women refer to you as sexy, charming, a “catch,” a “man’s man” and other labels that essentially mean that you are the guy that women dream of being with.

When a woman comes across a guy like that, she will hold on tight and never want to let go. She will always know how lucky she is to have found him, attracted him and gotten him into a relationship. She knows that her girlfriends will be jealous and her parents will be proud.

If a good guy alpha male already has a girlfriend or wife, some women will try to break up the relationship or marriage so she can be with him. Personally speaking, I still get contacted by some ex girlfriends even though I recently married my sexy, 22 year old girlfriend when I turned 37.

Do You Have to Be Born as An Alpha Male to Be One?

Do you have to be born alpha to be one?


Guys become alpha either via their upbringing, life experiences or active learning later in life.

The most important alpha male traits are not physical. What’s most important is how you think, behave and take action in life. You either think, behave and take action like an alpha male…or you don’t.

Personally speaking, I transformed myself from a self-doubting, socially anxious guy who felt as though he didn’t deserve attractive women and didn’t deserve the respect of others, into who I am today.

When I made the decision to become alpha, everything else began to change in my life too. Women wanted to have sex with me, people wanted to be my friend, my parents showed me more respect and I got promoted at work into higher positions of leadership.

Life is so much easier, less stressful and more productive as an alpha male. I make things happen and they happen easily because I have the confidence of an alpha male.

How about you?

Would you like to have your choice of women from now on? Would you like to have sex with hot, sexy women? Would you prefer that life ran more smoothly for you from now on? Would you like to see the shock on the faces of friends, family or coworkers when they see you with an extremely hot woman?

Would you like to get what has been denied to you all these years because you haven’t been alpha enough to attract it or take it? Would you like to feel good about yourself from now on, instead of secretly feeling like a failure?

Would you like to have women feel so much attraction for you that they confess their feelings to you and try to pick you up?

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