If your woman loses respect for you as her man, she will then begin to feel less attraction for you and when that happens, she will gradually begin to fall out of love with you.
Maintaining a woman’s respect is a complex thing, but essentially it’s about being a strong, honest man that she can look up to, rather than a wimpy, unreliable man that she looks down on. Things like cooperation, kindness, communication, respect of her feelings, compromise and giving her your full trust are also elements that ensure she will continue to feel respect for you as a man.
The Start of a Relationship is the Easy Part
A lot of men put on an act of being a confident, good, loving guy when they meet a woman because they want to have sex with her and get to have a relationship with her. Yet, once that goal has been achieved, many men slip into taking the woman for granted and feeling as though she has to put up with his behavior or she won’t get to be with him at all.
In the past, a woman had to stick by her man for life because it was shameful to break up or divorce. Not anymore. Keeping a relationship together in today’s world requires a man to actually know how to deepen the love, respect and attraction that a woman feels for him over time. If he can’t do that, the relationship will almost always fall apart eventually (or very quickly).
Starting a relationship with a modern woman is the easy part. The more challenging part is keeping it together. Here are 7 common mistakes that guys make, which cause a woman to lose respect and begin to question whether or not she wants to be in a relationship with him any longer:
1. Being Bossy Around Her, But Submissive Around Other Men
Most (not all) women are naturally more submissive than men and when in a relationship with a man, most women want the man to “wear the pants” and be the leader of the relationship. Being the “leader” doesn’t mean bossing her around like she is some sort of servant or employee. Instead, it means that you should simply be the one who takes on the responsibility of being the leader, especially when times get tough or when you face a challenging situation.
Being the leader in a relationship also doesn’t meant that you have to take the lead with everything. You just need to be the one who is responsible to take the lead. Most women are intelligent and perfectly capable of taking the lead, but they simply prefer the man to take charge. Why? It allows her to relax into being a woman, instead of feeling forced to act like “the man” in the relationship.
Where a lot of guys lose the respect of their woman is by being very bossy around her at home, but then being shy and submissive around other men. When a woman sees that her man is bossy around her, but submits around other people, she will begin to question whether or not she should be following his lead. A woman is always watching to see how much of a man a guy really is.
One of the best ways a woman can see how strong a guy is (mentally and emotionally), is to watch him interact with other men and see whether he behaves like an alpha male or lower-ranking male. Whether he’s talking to other men at a party or to a shop attendant in a store, the woman is watching to see if he acts submissively and places other men above him in terms of dominance. If he bosses her around at home, but then lets most (if not all) guys boss him around outside of the home, she will lose respect for him and won’t want to “follow his orders at home.
2. Being Too Suspicious and Protective
It’s fine to be a bit protective of your woman to show that you care. However, if you are suspicious and protective due to insecurity (i.e. you’re worried that she will cheat on you), it causes a woman to lose respect for you. A woman wants to know that you care about her and value her, but that you would be fine without her. She wants to stick with you for life because she respects you, loves you and feels attraction for you on a deep level. She doesn’t want to feel as though you need her for your emotional stability and that she has to be stick with you because you’re afraid of losing her.
Trust is essential for the health of a relationship because, without it, you feel less like a couple and more like two individuals who are not on the same team. One of the fastest ways to destroy the trust in a relationship is to become overly suspicious and protective of your woman. Regularly accusing her of wanting to cheat or of doing things behind your back will only lead to a breakdown of trust and will stop the flow of love in the relationship.
Whether she is legitimately working with a male co-worker on a project, going to the movies with friends or doing some shopping, some guys find it almost impossible to trust their woman unless they are with her. In an effort to control her, some guys stay in constant contact to find out where she is and what she is doing. Women are attracted to the strength in men and turned off by the weakness, so when a woman senses a man’s insecurity, she begins to lose attraction and respect for him on a fundamental level.
3. Whining About Life Like a Victim
For a variety of reasons, a man might find that his life plans are suddenly in jeopardy (e.g. he loses his job, his investments lose value, he gets caught up in heated disagreements with family or friends, etc.). It’s understandable that when things go wrong like that, a man might want to talk about his problems with his woman, but when he whines and complains about life like a victim without looking for solutions to the problems he is facing, a woman’s respect for him will quickly dwindle.
A woman wants to be able to see that, no matter what life throws as your way, you will stay strong and push forwards a solution to any problem. The more that you can be a “pillar of strength” in a woman’s world, the more she will respect you. However, if you crumble and whine like a victim when life gets tough, she will naturally lose respect for you as a man. Men are expected to be strong (mentally and emotionally), so when you display weakness to a woman, she will find it difficult to see you as a real man.
If a problem needs fixing in your life, you should be a man about it by making a firm decision on what you’re going to do and then acting on that decision like an alpha male. As a friend said to me the other night when talking about this subject, “It’s not what happens to you in life; it’s how you deal with it…that’s what determines how your life plays out. If you behave like a victim card and hide away in fear or drown yourself in excuses, your life will become a mess of problems, sadness and missed opportunities.” This same friend lost 85% of his life savings when the stock markets crashed a few years ago, but he’s managed to get back on his feet and push forward to success once again. That’s one of the things I like about him; he talks the talk and walks the walk. He makes things happen and that’s what counts in this life. Those who sit around complaining, whining and feeling like a victim will only experience more pain, frustration and disappointment.
Women know that this world is a challenging place to live, survive and prosper. As a result, women naturally look for strong men who won’t crumble under pressure and will remain strong the whole way. The stronger you are as a man (mentally and emotionally), the more that women will respect you and feel a natural attraction for you.
4. Belittling Her or Continually Criticizing Her
Belittle (verb): To make someone feel unimportant.
Criticize (verb): To find faults. Judge unfavorably.
Playfully teasing your woman in private is fun, especially if it is kept light-hearted. However, if you switch to belittling her and critisicing her on a regular basis, she will quickly lose respect for you as a man.
The best approach to take into a relationship with a woman is to realize that both you and her are NOT perfect. You each have your strengths and weaknesses. Together, you should help each other become strong in areas that you are weak and praise each other for areas that you are strong. It should be about becoming even better people than you were before you met. However, if you instead focus on critisizing her and belittling her for any mistakes she makes, your woman will find it difficult to retain her respect for you as a man.
In an effort to show to his friends, some guys will say hurtful things about their woman in front of her and behind her back. When a woman knows that her man doesn’t respect her and that he doesn’t “have her back,” she will often begin trying to undermine him or disrespect him in front of others as well. When that happens, the flow of love with slow down between them and all sorts of other relationship problems will arise.
5. Hiding From Your True Potential as a Man
The most respected men in the world are through who know what they want from life and go after it will unrelenting confidence and determination. When a man gets into a relationship with a woman, he will often make the mistake of hiding from his true potential as a man behind the woman and his relationship with her.
Instead of rising through the levels of his purpose in life, he will make excuses about why he isn’t becoming more successful or why he has stopped following through on his dreams. If a woman can see that a man is hiding from his potential due to fear, then she will gradually begin to lose respect for him. If this goes on for a long time, she will lose attraction for him and then begin to fall out of love with him. A big part of being what women refer to as a real man is having purpose in life and following through on it until you are successful. You don’t have to be successful right now, but you do have to be on your way to success. Every day, you should be pushing forward towards your dreams and goals, instead of coming up with excuses as to why you haven’t gotten started or haven’t made any progress lately.
6. Always Letting Her Win
Some guys, especially lower-ranking males who got lucky when they scored their woman, will begin to give in to whatever a woman wants because they are fearful of losing her. A woman will always test you to see how much she can get away with and whether or not you are truly in charge of the relationship. However, she doesn’t want you to bend over and let her wear the pants in the relationship. If you do let her boss you around, she may stay with you in a relationship, but she will lose respect for you as a man on a fundamental level and you will find that your sex life with her comes to a screeching halt.
In music videos and TV shows, women may ACT like they want men to kneel at their feet, but deep down they want a real man who can and will continually take the lead in a relationship.
7. Not Following Through on Your Promises
Women are known for changing their mind all the time and going back on their promises. It is one of the biggest differences between women and real men. However, if you copy the behavior of women and go back on your promises, she will be unable to see you as a real man and will lose respect for you. A man is expected to say what he thinks and stick by his promises. If he can’t stick by a promise because it is impossible to do so, he can explain that and then make another promise. However, if a man breaks a promise that could have been kept, a woman will lose respect for him. You may have kept 150 promises in a row for the last five years of your relationship, but if you then break three promises in a matter of months, a woman will begin to lose respect for your masculinity. She will see that you can’t be relied on to be a man and have begun behaving like a woman.
It may seem unfair to some men that women can change their mind and go back on promises, but that’s just the way humans are. Women are more-likely to change their mind and go back on a promise because they don’t feel the same way, while real men are more-likely to make a decision based on solid reasoning and follow it through until they achieve it. Note: I am referring to “real men,” not every man.
You’re Not Perfect…and That is Okay
When in a relationship, both the man and woman may develop unreasonable expectations of each other to be perfect. Being perfect is impossible and a big part of a woman retaining her respect for you is to realize that. The next time either of you are asking too much of the other and expecting the other to be perfect, smile, laugh a little and then say, “Neither of us are perfect. We can never be perfect, we can only try to improve every day and iron out any creases. I don’t expect you to be perfect and fix all of your flaws in the next 5 minutes because I love you and have the patience to let you grow at your own pace. I hope you can do the same for me. If you can, then we can grow together as a couple. Our love can mature and become stronger, rather than being destroyed by petty fights or unreasonable expectations of how things should be.”
You don’t have to say that word-for-word. Any variation of that is fine, but just get that general message across during the conversation. Ever since I said that to my girlfriend, we’ve been so much more relaxed and at peace knowing that neither of us expects the other to be perfect, but we do expect each other to continually improve and get better at loving the other and being in an increasingly harmonious relationship.