My Girlfriend Said She Needs Space
Has your girlfriend or wife recently said one of the following type of statements to you?
- “I need some space.”
- “I need to go find myself.”
- “It's not you, it's me.”
- “I don't know what I want. I need time alone to think about it.”
- “I need to find out if I really want to be with you.”
- "I think we should have a break for a while."
Your girlfriend or wife most-likely began the conversation by saying the dreaded four words, “We need to talk,” which probably made you feel sick to the pit of your stomach immediately, right? Suddenly, you felt like you were about to lose something really important to you and panic set in. Now, you're wondering how on Earth you can turn things around before it's too late.
So, what makes a woman say things like, “I need some space” and can you give her that space without ending the relationship completely? First, let's look at why women say it.
5 Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Might Need Some Space
1. She doesn't want to settle down yet.
For some women, getting involved in a long-term relationship at a young age or marrying young can quickly lead into a life of becoming a wife and mother, before she has the chance to really knowing who she is as a woman. If she reaches a point in life where she only knows herself as “someone’s mum” or “someone’s wife,” she may mean exactly what she says when she states that she needs some space to find herself.
The highest number of divorces happen for people who marry before they age of 30. The same applies to non-married relationships. At that point in a person's life, they are usually still trying to find themselves and their calling in life and are often conflicted by the tempting choices of the modern world. It's not like how it used to be back in the early 1900s. Modern relationships are more complex and under more pressure [See: The Modern Relationship].
2. She wants to find a new guy, then fully break up with you.
Instead of coming right out and saying, “I want out. This relationship is over,” some women will keep you on the side until they find a replacement guy. When she finds her new guy, she'll come right out and tell you, “I'm in love with him and I want to be with him” and may even tell you that she's been having sex with him.
A woman will do this because she doesn't want to go through the pain of seeing you hook up with a new woman before she finds a new guy. So, she will string you along and pretend that there's still a chance for you as a couple, until she is safe to fully break your heart and fall into the arms of the new guy. It sounds cold I know, but that's what many immature people do to each other at the end of a relationship.
3. She's bored of being with you.
If your girlfriend has said to you that she needs some space or needs to go find herself, it can also just mean that she's bored of the relationship and being with you. Often, she won't be entirely sure why she’s bored, but she is listening to her gut instinct and it is telling her to move on.
4. She doesn't want to accidentally become pregnant to you.
Many women worry that if they stay with a guy whom they're not suited to, they may end up becoming pregnant accidentally and then they'll have to stick with him for life or at least have him in their life all the way. If she's getting the sense that she needs to distance herself from you and is the type of woman to worry about the unwanted pregnancy, she will quickly lose interest in having sex and will want to end the relationship as soon as possible.
5. She no longer respects you as a man.
The most common reason a woman will say that she needs some space or needs to go find herself is that she has lost respect for you as a man. This happens when you become the type of guy who hides from the world and your true potential, behind your relationship with her. In the beginning, you may have told her about your big dreams and ambitions, but as the relationship went on, you became more of a couch potato and stopped striving to become a bigger and better man in life. Now she has the feeling that she's in a relationship with a half-man, a weak man, a fraud or a no-hoper. She feels as though she deserves better.
Did you have big plans about where you were going in life when you first got together, which have now taken a back seat? Have you settled for “ordinary” and “average” instead of the “extraordinary” you were shooting for? Have you stopped hanging out with friends and doing things together socially and instead, spend most of your time in front of the TV, playing with your phone or aimlessly browsing the web, but never really achieving anything?
Have you made her feelings about your relationship change from, “This is it!” into thoughts of “Is this it?”
Can You Give Your Girlfriend “Space” Without Fully Losing Her?
If you've read the above reasons why a woman will say that she needs space or needs to go find herself, you may have already realized that she really does want out. However, there are ways for you to get the spark back in the relationship before it's too late. If she does decide to have some space away from the relationship, make sure that you don't make any of the mistakes outlined in this article, Can You Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back?
If your mistakes in the relationship are what has caused her to lose attraction and respect for you and to fall out of love for you, the only way back into her heart will be to change what you've been doing. You need to use the approach that women want. Women want to be with a real man and unless you are exactly that, most modern women will just break up and move on.Next Page >>
By Dan Bacon, Founder of The Modern Man. Dan Bacon on Google+ (Personal photos with women)