Has your girlfriend recently said any of the following to you?
- “I need some space.”
- “I need time to find myself.”
- “It’s not you, it’s me.”
- “I don’t know what I want. I need time alone to think about it.”
- “I need to find out if I really want to be with you.”
- “I think we should have a break for a while.”
- “I want some space, but I don’t want to break up.”
What made her feel as though she needs space from the relationship? Is she cheating on you? Has she lost respect and attraction for you and is now looking to get out of the relationship to find a new guy?
Should you not contact her and give her the space she needs? How can you get her to change her mind?
To answer those questions and more, let’s have a look at some of the most common reasons why a woman will want to get some space from a man that she’s in a relationship with…
5 Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Might Need Some Space
Your girlfriend most-likely began the “I need some space” conversation by saying, “We need to talk…” or “I need to talk to you about something,” which probably made you feel sick to the pit of your stomach, right?
Suddenly, you went from feeling great around to her to feeling like you were about to lose something really important to you and then the panic set in. Now, you are wondering how you can turn things around before it’s too late.
Don’t worry, you can definitely turn things around and get her back. The approach that I am going to teach you will make her regret asking for space and come running back to you saying that she misses you.
First though, let’s have a deeper look at what makes a woman say things like, “I need some space.” Can you give your girlfriend that space without ending the relationship completely? How long do you need to give her? All of those questions will be answered below…
1. She wants to find a replacement guy before breaking up with you
Instead of coming right out and saying, “I want out. This relationship is over,” some women will keep you on the side until they find a replacement guy. When she finds her new guy, she will then come right out and tell you, “I’m in love with him and I want to be with him” and may even tell you that she’s been having sex with him.
A woman will do this because she doesn’t want to go through the pain of seeing you hook up with a new woman before she finds a new guy. So, she will string you along and pretend that there’s still a chance for you as a couple and then suddenly turn around and say, “I’ve got something to tell you.”
She’ll say sorry for not telling you sooner, but she is now in love with another guy and you and her are finished for good. It sounds cold I know, but that’s what many people do to each other at the end of a relationship.
2. She’s bored of being with you
If your girlfriend has said to you that she needs some space or needs to go find herself, it can also just mean that she’s bored of the relationship and of being with you.
Maybe you and her have gotten into too much of a routine and haven’t really been doing many exciting things together, maybe you weren’t able to make her orgasm on a regular basis or maybe she just doesn’t feel very attracted to you anymore.
3. She doesn’t want to settle down yet
These days, many young women don’t want to settle down before having the chance to really know who they are as a woman. If a young woman reaches a point in life where she only knows herself as your girlfriend or wife, then she will mean exactly what she says when she states that she needs some space to find herself.
She will look around at other women her age who are out partying and having different relationships with guys and if your relationship with her isn’t fun anymore, she may just want to get away from you to start the ride all over again. Not all women are like that, but an increasing number of young women are.
Women (young and old) are aware of the high divorce rate in society and don’t want to make the same mistake if they can avoid it.
According to most statistics, the highest number of divorces happen for people who marry before 30 years of age. Before they reach 30, most people are usually still trying to work out their purpose in life and are often conflicted by the tempting choices of the modern world.
Additionally, most guys don’t know how to deepen the girl’s love, respect and attraction overtime, so she gradually falls out of love with him and wants to enjoy her freedom.
Relationships with women have changed.
It’s not like how it used to be back in the early 1900s where almost all couples would stay together for life.
Modern relationships are more complex and are under more pressure than ever before and if you can’t deepen the love, respect and attraction that your woman feels for you, she will often begin to wonder if she is missing out or settling for less than she should.
4. She doesn’t want to accidentally become pregnant to you
Many women worry that if they stay with a guy whom they’re not suited to, they may end up becoming pregnant and will then have to stick with him or have him in their life in some way.
If she’s getting the sense that she needs to distance herself from you and is the type of woman to worry about the unwanted pregnancy, she will quickly lose interest in having sex and will then want to end the relationship as soon as possible.
5. She no longer respects you as a man
The most common reason a woman will say that she needs some space or needs to go find herself is that she has lost respect for you as a man. This happens when you become the type of guy who hides from the world and your true potential, behind your relationship with her.
In the beginning, you may have told her about your big dreams and ambitions in life, but as the relationship went on, you became more of a couch potato and stopped striving to become a bigger and better man in life. Now she has the feeling that she’s in a relationship with a half-man, a weak man, a fraud or a no-hoper. She feels as though she deserves better and now wants some time to distance herself from you.
Did you have big plans about where you were going in life when you first got together, which have now taken a back seat? Have you settled for “ordinary” instead of “extraordinary”?
Have you stopped hanging out with friends? Have you spent most of your time hanging around her, watching TV, playing with your phone or aimlessly browsing the web, but never really trying to achieve anything and become a bigger and better man that she can look up to and respect?
Have you made her feelings about your relationship change from, “This is it!” into thoughts of “Is this it?”
Can You Give Your Girlfriend Space Without Fully Losing Her?
While giving her space, you have to focus on fixing your issues (e.g. clingy behavior) and improving yourself (e.g. becoming more of an alpha male, becoming more of a man, getting clear on your life purpose). You have to get to the point where you do NOT need her in your life, but you want her in your life.
When she sees that you don’t need her and are improving and moving forward in life, she will naturally begin to regain respect and attraction for you as a man. Then, she will begin to worry that she is losing a great man and will reach out and contact you in some way.
How Much Time Should You Give Her?
Over the years, a lot of guys have asked me, “Dan, my girlfriend said she needs space. How long do I give her?” and my answer is always, “You won’t get her back by giving her time and space. You will get her back when you learn how to make her feel respect and attraction for you again.”
Sometimes, a woman will get lonely and contact her guy if he gives her space, but it will NOT fix the real reasons for the break up. She will have broken up with him because she doesn’t fully respect him and doesn’t feel enough attraction for him.
If he doesn’t learn how to make her feel respect and attraction for him in new ways, she will simply break up with him again when she feels ready, or she will string him along until she finds a new guy.
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