Has your girlfriend recently said any of the following to you?
- “I need some space.”
- “I need time to find myself.”
- “It’s not you, it’s me.”
- “I don’t know what I want. I need time alone to think about it.”
- “I need to find out if I really want to be with you.”
- “I think we should have a break for a while.”
- “I want some space, but I don’t want to break up.”
What made her feel as though she needs space from her relationship with you?
Your girlfriend probably began the “I need some space” conversation by saying, “We need to talk…” or “I need to talk to you about something,” which most-likely made you feel sick to the pit of your stomach.
All of a sudden, you went from feeling safe and relaxed around your girlfriend to that horrible feeling of panic where you know that you are losing something that is extremely important to you. You can see it in her eyes that she no longer looks at you in the same way.
You and her have gone from being in love to feeling disconnected like a couple of strangers. It’s a horrible experience to go through as a guy, especially when you don’t know how to fix it.
Don’t worry though…
You can definitely turn things around and change her mind. In fact, you can make your girlfriend feel like she’s made a huge mistake by even thinking about losing a great guy like you. When she has that realization, she will come running back to you saying that she misses you and wants to give it another chance.
5 Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Might Need Some Space
There are many reasons why a woman will ask for space from a guy, but here are 5 of the most common reasons…
1. She wants to find a replacement guy before really breaking up with you
Instead of coming right out and saying, “I want out. This relationship is over and I am never, ever going to get back with you” some women will keep you on the side until they find a replacement guy.
When she finds a guy to replace you, she will then come right out and tell you, “I’m in love with him and I want to be with him” and may even tell you that she’s been having sex with him to really hurt you emotionally.
A woman will sometimes use this approach because she doesn’t want to go through the pain of seeing you hook up with a new woman before she finds a new guy. She wants you to be the one who is hurting because she moved on before you did.
A woman like that will string you along and pretend that there’s still a chance for you as a couple (e.g. “I want space, but I’m scared of losing you. I just need some more time…”) and then suddenly turn around and say, “There’s something that I have to tell you.”
She’ll say sorry for not telling you sooner, but she will explain that she is now in love with another guy and that you and her are finished for good. It sounds cold I know, but that’s what many people do to each other at the end of a relationship to avoid being the one who is in pain.
2. She’s bored
If your girlfriend has said to you that she needs some space or needs some time to find herself, it can often just mean that she’s bored of how the relationship makes her feel.
Maybe you have:
- Gotten into a routine and haven’t been doing many exciting things lately.
- Been taking her for granted and just expecting that she will stick around, even though the relationship doesn’t feel as good as it once did.
- Give her the type of sexual experience that she was hoping to have with you.
- Stopped doing the things that made her feel attracted to you in the first place.
Just because things felt great between you at the start, it doesn’t mean that she will be willing to put up with a relationship that has lost it’s spark.
To keep a relationship together, you have to deepen a woman’s feelings of love, respect and attraction for you over time.
Watch this video to understand why…
3. You haven’t done what is required to make her want to settle down with you for life
It doesn’t matter if a woman is 20, 30, 40 or 50 – she will settle down with a guy who makes her feel the way she really wants to feel.
When a guy deepens the love, respect and attraction that a woman feels for him over time in a relationship, she will not want to break up him. A relationship that gets better and better over time stays together for life.
Personally speaking, I met my wife when she was 20 and I was 35. We got married this year (I’m now 37 and she’s 22). No other guy that she’d met prior to me had ever made her feel like she wanted to settle down for real.
The reason why she settled down with me is that I’ve been able to deepen the love, respect and attraction over time in our relationship, rather than it fading away like it does for most couples. Our relationship literally becomes more and more enjoyable over time.
This is something that you can do as well.
If you currently don’t know how to deepen a woman’s love, respect and attraction for you over time in a relationship – you have to take the time to learn it.
In today’s world, you have to know how to deepen a woman’s love, respect and attraction for you over time. If you don’t do it and simply expect that a woman will stay with you because things felt good at the start, a woman will eventually dump you.
In the past, a woman would stick with a man for life even if she was unhappy because it was shameful to get divorced. However, in today’s world, you have to know how to deepen a woman’s love, respect and attraction for you over time. If you don’t know how to do that, you can’t expect a woman to want to stay with you for life or even for many years.
The relationship needs to get better and better over time. If it doesn’t, she isn’t obliged to stay with you. The society around her tells her that if she isn’t happy with a guy, it’s fine to leave him and move on.
When your girlfriend watches TV, movies or listens to pop songs, she is constantly being told that it’s okay to dump a guy and move on. It sucks, but it is the kind of world that we live in today.
Your girlfriend has asked for some space from you, so you need to see this as a wake up call. It is a huge opportunity for you to improve your ability to make her feel love, respect and attraction for you and become an even better man that you are right now.
If you don’t change your approach to make her feel differently, you can’t expect her to want to get back with you or to stay with you for very long if the relationship does get back together temporarily.
4. She doesn’t want to accidentally become pregnant to you
If your girlfriend has lost respect and attraction for you, she will automatically begin to feel worried about falling pregnant to you. She knows that if she gets pregnant to you, it will mean that you’ll always be a part of her life.
If she is the type of woman to worry about an unwanted pregnancy, she will quickly lose interest in having sex and will then want to end the relationship as soon as possible. She won’t want to risk having sex with you and then being stuck feeling unhappy for life.
The only way to change how she feels is to make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you. If you keep making the same old mistakes that have caused her to lose respect and attraction for you, her sexual desire for you will be minimal or non-existent.
5. She doesn’t want to teach you how to be the man she needs
A woman doesn’t ever want to have to take on the role of being a guy’s mother or big sister in life. She doesn’t want to feel like she has to teach you how to be the man that she really needs.
We men are expected to know how to be a man and if we don’t know it, women simply reject us, cheat on us or dump us. It may sound harsh, but it’s just the way nature works.
Some guys are lucky enough to grow up with a father or male role model who is capable of teaching them how to be a man. However, the majority of guys these days never get taught what it really means to be a man.
Most guys never know how to make a woman feel like a real woman in a relationship. They might hear some asking, “Where are all the real men?” and saying, “I want a man who makes me feel like a real woman,” but they never really understand what that means.
100 or 200 years ago, men didn’t have to worry about this sort of stuff. In the past, women needed men and had to get married and then stay with a man for life. If a woman was unhappy in her relationship, she couldn’t do anything about it.
In today’s world, you’ve got to know how to be the man that women really want to be with. If you don’t, women will break up with you after the initial lust has worn off, or when she gets to a point where she is sick and tired of not feeling enough respect and attraction for you.
What you need to know is that it is possible to be one of those couples that you’ve seen who’ve been together for 30 or 40 years and are still madly in love. You’ve seen couples like that, right?
Even though they’ve been together for decades, they still hold hands, laugh and smile together, kiss and hug. That is what’s possible when you know how to deepen a woman’s love, respect and attraction for you over time in a relationship.
Can You Give Your Girlfriend Space Without Fully Losing Her?
However, the most important thing that you need to do is work out how you are going to make her feel respect and attraction for you the next time you interact with her. If she contacts you after having some space from you and discovers that you still don’t understand how to be the type of man that she needs you to be, she will want to remain broken up.
While giving her space, you have to focus on fixing your issues (e.g. insecurities, clingy behavior, etc) and improving yourself (e.g. becoming more of an alpha male, becoming more of a man, getting clear on your life purpose). You have to get to the point where you don’t NEED need her in your life, but you do WANT her in your life.
When your girlfriend sees that you don’t need her and have been improving yourself and moving forward in life, she will naturally begin to regain some of her respect and attraction for you. Then, she will begin to worry that she is losing a great man and will reach out and contact you in some way.
However, if she notices that you are still making the same old emotional mistakes (e.g. being insecure, lacking masculinity) and need her in your life so you feel secure, it will turn her off on a deep level.
A woman never wants to be your primary purpose in life. She wants you to love her, want her, respect her and appreciate her, but not need her. If you don’t really know how to attract women and simply got lucky when you scored your girlfriend, it’s only natural that you might get to the point where you feel like you need her for your emotional security.
If you want to get to the point where you want her, but sincerely do not need her, you have to improve your ability to attract women in general. When you know that most of the women you meet feel attracted to you and are interested in you, the need for your girlfriend decreases.
You will still want her in your life, but you won’t need her. When your girlfriend notices that, she will naturally feel more attracted to you again. She will most-likely test you by showing interest in getting back together and then changing her mind to see how you react.
If you sincerely don’t need her and only want her, she will feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
How Much Time and Space Should You Give Her?
Over the years, a lot of guys have asked me, “Dan, my girlfriend said she needs space. How long do I give her?” and my answer is always, “You won’t get her back by giving her time and space. You will get her back when you make her feel respect and attraction for you again.”
I highly recommend that you don’t waste too much time giving your girlfriend space, because it usually just gives the woman plenty of time to move on.
What you need to do is get her to meet up with you and then make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you. Sometimes, a woman will get lonely and contact her guy if he gives her space, but it will NOT fix the real reasons for the break up.
Your girlfriend will have broken up with you because she doesn’t fully respect you as a man and doesn’t feel enough attraction for you right now. That is what you need to fix and giving her space will NOT fix that.
If you don’t begin making her feel respect and attraction for you in new ways, she may give you another chance if she is unable to find a new guy. However, she will just break up with you again when she feels emotionally ready, or she’ll string you along until she finds a new guy to replace you.