When it comes to dating and relationships, women expect us men to know all sorts of stuff and if we don’t, they reject us, overlook us, cheat on us or dump us.
That may feel like women aren’t fair, but it’s just how nature works. We men either know what we’re doing with women or we don’t. If we don’t, we will suffer the consequences now or in the long run.
As a man, you’re pretty much expected to know what a woman is thinking – and what she wants you to be thinking at any given time – simply by:
- Observing her body language.
- Reading “in between the lines” of her behavior.
- Listening for clues in what she says…and doesn’t say during a conversation.
- Watching for clues based on what she does and doesn’t do.
- Knowing what makes a woman angry, happy, sad, frustrated, delighted, etc with a man.
The Big Juicy Mystery That is the “Woman”
If women are a bit of a mystery to you right now, you might feel a confused about where to begin on your quest to understand and conquer the big juicy mystery that is the “woman.”
For some guys, being on a date or being in a conversation with a woman that they are very attracted can be a confusing, anxiety-producing experience. He wants her to like him, but he has no idea how to make her feel attracted to him.
Trying to understand what women want can seem so difficult that some guys choose to avoid women altogether and end up going through their life feeling lonely, left out and miserable. Week after week, they masturbate to porn to dull their built up sexual desire and hope that one day, something will change.
Yet, nothing creates nothing. You’ve got to do something to make something happen. You’ve got to actively approach women and interact with women so you can attract them and have sex or begin a relationship with them.
What Makes Her Feel Like a Real Woman?
While some things about women might be more difficult to understand than others, the #1 thing that a woman expects you to know is how to make her feel like a real woman.
A woman feels like a real woman when she’s in the presence of a real man.
It doesn’t matter if you’re 16, 26, 36, 46 or 56 – the same rules apply. You are either what women (at that age) refer to as a real man or you’re not. You either make her feel girly in your presence because of how masculine you feel to her, or you don’t.
The AMAZING, EXCITING, THRILLING and HYPNOTIC sexual dynamic that is created when a man behaves like a man and thus allows a woman to behave like a woman, is one of the most beautiful and sought after experiences for us humans.
Women CRAVE the experience, but most guys don’t know how to give it to women. Most guys simply use the nice guy approach and hope to get lucky with a woman who is nice enough to give them a chance.
Being the Man That Women Are Desperate to Find
To make a woman feel like a real woman, you’ve got to be what she refers to as a real man. These days, most guys haven’t been taught how to be a real man and aren’t entirely sure how a real man talks, walks, behaves, thinks and responds to life.
Unfortunately, most fathers out there basically “learn on the job” when it comes to raising their children (my dad included!) and when it comes to their relationship, most of them got lucky and stumbled into it and usually don’t understand what it takes to be successful at picking up women in the first place and then being able to maintain not just a relationship where the man and woman “put up with each other,” but a relationship full of sexual passion, exciting love and heart-warming happiness.
When they “pass on” on their “knowledge” to their sons, it is usually filled with all sorts of insecurities, mistaken assumptions and outdate “dating advice” like buying flowers, being really nice, asking to kiss her, arriving to the date with a gift, etc.
All women yearn to experience the exhilarating sexual sparks that ignite when they find themselves in the company of a real man. If you don’t know how to be that guy, you will always be Mr.
Average to women and in the modern world, where women are more ready and willing to divorce or break up, being Mr. Average is a sure ticket to an unhappy relationship or a devastating conversation that starts with, “We need to talk” and continues on with, “I’ve been sleeping with someone else…and I’m in love with him. I’m sorry, but we are finished.”
1. She Wants You to Know How to Lead Her
In a woman’s eyes, a real man is a man who makes the rules.
She’s looking for a guy who knows who he is, knows his own mind and knows where he’s going in life, so she’s looking for a guy who has already made his own rules – and is sticking by his own rules. Likewise, a woman is deeply turned off by a man who looks to her to establish and enforce the “rules of the relationship.”
The same applies to an initial conversation with a woman. A lot of guys make the mistake of waiting to see really obvious signs that the woman is interested in talking to him before he feels comfortable doing so. An alpha male doesn’t do that. He makes his own rules.
He does what he wants and women love and respect that. However, when a guy PRETENDS that he has the confidence of an alpha male, all a woman has to do to find out if he is a fake, is put even more pressure on him by being bitchier, colder or by not really engaging in the conversation other than short replies like, “I don’t know” and “Oh, okay.”
Guys who don’t actually know how to be a true alpha will be revealed as a fake in those moments and the woman will be turned off.
2. She Wants You to Know That She Wants to Chase YOU
According to all available historical data and research, women have always been instinctively attracted to the men who proved themselves to be the best survivors. In earlier times, that would have meant being able to hunt and provide and in modern times it means being able to succeed in your career and provide.
Women always want to be with an alpha male because he usually offers the best chance of survival and safety. However, since he is the type of man that most women want, he can have his choice with women and is usually not an easy catch. For most women, to successfully attract and secure an alpha male into a relationship means that they have to chase after HIM and do whatever it takes to get HIS attention.
If you haven’t grown up around male role models who could teach you HOW to be an alpha male (one part of being what women refer to as a real man), consider learning from us here at The Modern Man. We are the experts in this field and have been teaching guys the secrets to success with women for almost a decade now. It’s not your fault that you currently don’t know how to be an alpha male, but it will be your fault if you continue living life as a lower ranking male!
As I always say, “You only know what you know. You can’t know what you don’t know if you don’t learn.” The answers are only a few clicks away, but it’s up to you to take the next step and learn the real secrets to success with women.
Being an alpha male doesn’t mean becoming a jerk, an asshole or a bossy prick. What we teach here at The Modern Man is how to be a good guy alpha male. If you think about the men that you look up to and respect most in life, they will almost certainly be good guy alpha males.
Most guys go through life never feeling like they deserve the title of alpha male because they assume that the alpha male has to be the leader of the pack all the time. That’s how it works for wolves and wild dogs, but not for humans.
Being a human alpha male is a lot more simple and enjoyable than that.
3. She Wants You to Know What Type of Man is REALLY Attractive to Women
Most guys will say, “Oh, you have to be tall, dark and handsome. Rich and famous. Drive an expensive car and have a big penis.” Yet, they forget to look around the REAL WORLD and see that MOST beautiful women are MADLY IN LOVE will guys who don’t have any of those traits.
Furthermore, guys who make the all too common mistake of lavishing sweet attention on a woman they’ve just met and then being harshly rejected, will often to jump to the conclusion that being “nice” doesn’t work.
They then conclude that it must be true that women are only interested in “bad guys” or tall, dark and handsome guys or rich men or guys with a big penis. Wrong! She doesn’t want a “bad” guy who is going to treat her mean to keep her keen, she wants a strong “good” guy. When you learn the difference between the two, you will finally understand what it is that a woman really wants and you instantly be on your way to becoming one of the guys that women are willing to chase after.
In today’s world, you don’t need to be able to outrun a saber-toothed tiger to be a “protector” and you don’t need bulging biceps to be strong either, but you do need to have strength of character and the confidence to walk to the beat of your own drum.
When you’ve got that, you’ve got what it takes to let a woman know you’re the “real deal” and she’s not going to want to let you get away…but, of course, she won’t want to tell you that straight away because she EXPECTS you to know it and wants to experience the thrill of the chase.
It might seem like a pointless game to you, but that is what women want to experience when they come across a guy they like. Getting her to chase you and earn your affection allows the right type of relationship dynamic to be created and also allows her to fall in love more rapidly.
4. She Wants You to Know How Be a Man, No Matter How Old/Young You Are
The bottom-line is that women want men to be men so that they can be women and this applies whether the woman is 16, 26, 36, 46 or 56. A woman wants to feel “weak at the knees” when she’s around a guy and she wants a guy to know how to do that without having to tell him.
If she has to tell a guy how to be a man, the exciting sexual chemistry just won’t be created.
You cannot create the exciting sexual chemistry that women yearn to experience, simply by being a normal guy. You have to be what they refer to as a real man. If you’re not, it just isn’t going to happen. You might be able to get lucky and start a few relationships, but they will fizzle out over time because once a woman loses respect for you (she will lose respect for you when you fail to be a man in critical moments), she then begins to lose attraction and once she loses attraction, she begins to fall out of love for you.
A woman will never love a guy who ISN’T a real man as much as she will love as a real man. She could be in a relationship for 10 years with a normal guy and 2 months with a real man and she will love the real man 100 times more.
It’s like you being in a relationship with an unattractive or barely-attractive woman and then being in a relationship with a beautiful woman who also has all the personality traits and qualities you really want in a woman.
When a woman is as young, say 18 years old, she may not be using “real man” in her vocabulary to describe all of this. Instead, she may say “hot guy” or “sexy guy” to describe how he makes her feel. However, as women get older, you will hear them asking, “Where are all the real men??” when they talk about how guys behave these days.
If no-one has ever taught you to be what women (of your age) refer to as a real man, then I am here to help you. Click around my site and continue learning. Each article you read or video you watch will open your mind and provide you with useful ways to begin attracting women and making them see you as a real man.
Want to Know the SECRET to Success With Women?
Watch this hidden video where Dan exposes his BIGGEST secret to success with women, which allows you to easily get laid or get a girlfriend.
This video is only available here and you can watch it for free right now.
Just wanted to say thankyou for your newsletters. I started dating this girl 10 months ago. After the honeymoon phase which was 2 or 3 months, the romance started to die. So I subscribed your newsletter because I really liked this girl plus I have a history of failed relationships. I didn’t want this relationship to be the same way. After taking your advice and following your tips I noticed a change in her attitude toward me. Now she can’t get enough of me and the relationship is stronger than ever.
Thanks for your positive feedback.
I’m glad to hear that my advice has helped you turn things around with your girlfriend. If you’re results have been that good from just reading the newsletters, imagine what would happen if you invested in my programs. If you ever find yourself losing her interest again, I recommend you watch The Modern Relationship and then for a more in depth education on being the man that women desperately hang on to and never want to leave, I recommend you watch Better Than a Bad Boy.
My programs contain all of my very best secrets, techniques and strategies for success with women and I’ll never reveal those in articles. The articles are full of great advice, but the most powerful advice will always remain in the programs.
Thanks again for sharing your success – much appreciated Matt!
I ‘m from Zimbabwe.I think it’s high time for me to get the Flow because I agree with Matt, there have been drastic changes in my life ever since I started reading your newsletters.I ‘m already attracting girls at college and guys are respecting me
Cool! It’s always good to hear from the African nations, especially when you guys report back with success stories. I’m hoping to go and live in Africa in 2014 or 2015 for about a year. Should be awesome because I absolutely love black women.
Oh and yes, you’ll be amazed at what you learn from the The Flow, Kumbie. When you’ve put the advice into action, it would be awesome to see you post a Flow success story here: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/the-flow-new-edition.html
The women are waiting. Make it happen!
Come to Zimbabwe and you will not be dissapointed because they are plenty of hot and beautiful women.
I also want to ask you a question.Do you need to be financially stable to run a relationship?
Thanks for your question.
Most employed men in the world live pay check to pay check, but that doesn’t stop them from having a girlfriend or getting married, does it? If it did, 95% of guys would not have a girlfriend and basically no-one would have been getting married. Likewise, most guys living on government benefits or handouts manage get by week by week, but most of them still have a girlfriend.
The reason you don’t have a girlfriend or a relationship is that you don’t approach women or you don’t approach women properly. End of story. You can try to look for as many excuses you want OTHER than approaching women, but it always comes back to this: https://twitter.com/Dan_Modern_Man/status/262269846182588416
If you want to learn how to approach women properly, read The Flow.
P.S. Yes, a friend of mine said this aunty and uncle moved to Zimbabwe a few years ago and have been loving it. I will have to put it on the list of destinations to check out before deciding where to live for a while.
When will my ineffective mindsets go away?
Am I stuck with my ineffective mindsets until I start reaching the master level with socialising, getting into relationships, approaching women, having sex? Have you got to get to a GOOD level with SOME if not ALL of that before your ineffective mindsets leave you or should you start to see a gradual decline in your old mindsets as you’re going through the process?
I’m going through the process but my mindsets are NOT changing I still think in the same ways when I first began this. I have been approaching women for two months now getting some numbers and had some good reactions still a little wet behind the ears with some of it not getting it all right but I was expecting my old mindsets to be changing dramatically more than they have been considering the results I have been getting and the actions I have been taking.
Thanks for your comment.
The Confidence Building System that we provide is in Dating Power and Coaching Call Breakthroughs. However, I don’t see any record of your purchase for either of those programs. Let me know what name and e-mail you purchased under (don’t worry, I’ll delete the comment and won’t show it publicly) so I can see who I am speaking to.
I will be deleting both of these comments in 48 hours if don’t hear from you.
I’ve been seeing this girl for a month now. It was good at the start and we had sex after the first week or so. Since then it seems like she’s losing interest, not replying to a second text messege. Just seems like it has died a bit.It Seems sometimes shes playing hard to get and sometimes when i think of ending it because i fear of her ending it i might get and odd little text or *like* on facebook. I feel i have to initiate everything. I also have a small history of failed attemped relationships maybe because I was too forward. I like this girl a lot and just don’t want to see it fail again. Please help. Thanks
Thanks for your question.
Your history of failed relationships and the problem you are experiencing now is because of your approach to women. You have to get women chasing YOU and wanting to spend more time with you, rather than the other way around. Women love the thrill of the chase and that chase is meant to continue throughout the entire relationship.
I recommend that you watch The Modern Relationship and use the techniques I provide to get the spark back in your current relationship before it’s too late.
Dan – Do you see a trend where men are approaching women a lot less? I have argued that it is a attempt by men to have more value ( if that is the right word) and bargaining power in dating.
Thanks for your question.
Yes, women are complaining about it. See: http://www.themodernman.com/street_talk_with_women.html
No, it’s not an attempt by men to get value or power. Men are simply afraid to approach modern women. See: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/better-than-a-bad-boy.html
I need your help and advice> when I first saw met a lady at the stationery shop, I indeed have interest on her so i started to her some money.This continued each time I visit that shop.We continued to have long conversation, however she continues to tell me, she is a christian lady hence, she is frighten/afraid.But I really like this lady. Shall I contunue giving her money expecting her to have interest on me. Or Quit. How can I tune her mind so that she eventually have interest on me?
You’re paying her to talk to you? You’re doing it wrong.
Read The Flow and learn how to attract a woman and guide her through a natural, sexual courtship.
How can I make the girl of my dreams fall for me?She’s from my class btw.I have spoken to her just twice or thrice during the whole year.The first time I spoke to her was when we were playing a group game and I got to be so close to her!That was one of the best moments of my life!!She is confident,beautiful and superhot!I’m superattracted to her.The problem is she has a lot of attention.She has many guy friends and probably a bf too.What should I do?I also feel nervous around her or don’t know what to say.Also,I’m from a lower middle class family and she and her friends are from rich families.Will she ever date a guy like me?
Thanks for your question.
However, what you’re asking me is like asking Michael Jordan, “How can I join the NBA and be like you?” when you’ve never even played basketball before. He’s going to tell you to learn from a great teacher and put what you learn into action. He’s not going to say, “Hey, pick up the ball, say this magic word and then everything will be done.” To master a new area of life, you need to learn, use the advice you have learnt and then practice until you become great.
Based on your comment, it is obvious to me that you have a LOT to learn. Just like Michael Jordan couldn’t teach you to be an NBA superstar in a reply to a comment, I can’t either. You have to LEARN and that is what our programs are for. You have a lot to learn, so get started. If you can’t afford my programs (I looked you up using the e-mail you provided when making a comment and can see you’re in India), then read every article on my site, watch every video and listen to every audio podcast.
new to the program so i need ur help please, when u ask a girl out (who’s ur friend) and she says yes to a date straight away is infactuated by u on the phone saying things like “i did my hair for 2 hours to talk to u at work today”, “ur making me blush”, “i really want this too” and then 2 days later says “I can’t be in a relationship[her ex boyfriend took her virginity, then had sex other women] cause i was really hurt in the last one, can we still be friends?” is she rejecting u nicely cause ur her friend? does she want u to chase her? does she just want to use me? how should i react?
thank u dan,
kind regards Malik
Welcome to The Modern Man.
Unless she is a nutcase/legitimately crazy girl, that is not the reason she lost interest in you. You have left out important details in your comment to me. Namely, what YOU wrote to her in the texts when she said that. Unless she is a whacko, it would have been YOUR behavior that made her become turned off and want to cancel the courtship.
However, I can ascertain from what SHE said “I really want this too” that you made a HUGE mistake of saying, “I really want this” and telling her about your feelings for her. Watch: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/question-and-answer-video-series-part-3.html
Great article Dan!
There is a lady i propose to but she told me she has a boyfriend but now she even find it difficult to study without me being by her so my question is she now int
erested if she is should i raise raise the topic again i need your advice
Thanks for your comment.
You don’t propose a relationship to a woman. That approach is so wrong that it doesn’t even work in the movies! You have to go through a natural sexual courtship. Learn how by reading The Flow: http://store.themodernman.com/in/58e9e6c
Hi Dan, thank so far for your Advice. Am really enjoying it. Keep it up.
Thanks for your useful training manuals
There is this girl whom we study in the same class. She’s a flirty, and charming type of girl thus she is sending to me mixed signals of attraction.
What I really fail to discern is whether she has romantic interest in me or she is just being nice, because she even tried to invite me into her own room twice, and once she gave me her cellphone to hold it for her, while in the past she didn’t consider me that much.
Moreover when she’s with her friends (both males and females) she separates with them and hangout with me. She smiles at me and she likes to talk to me when we are close.
My question is that, is there a possibility that she is interested with me romantically so that I can make the move because she is funny,flirty and charming with almost any guy whom she meets with.
Hey Kelvin John
Thanks for your question.
The answer you seek is in this free video: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/turn-your-female-friend-or-co-worker-into-your-girlfriend.html
Love you stuff dude! I’m at the beginning of my journey but Sunday I got a 25 year old to dance for me and today I got the telephone number of a 32 year old. She was calling out after me to make sure and give her a call. I’m 47 years old and I have to say that it’s exciting having young women after me. Wish I’d learned this stuff years ago.
To everyone else I have to say: the dynamics work. I see stuff unfold before my eyes and it’s amazing. I’ve also seen my mistakes and can see the patterns Dan talks about. Looking forward to more fun times.
You’re a legend mate.
It sounds like you’re following the advice properly and, most importantly, are taking action to create the results. If you’ve already achieved that so quickly, you will be laughing at how good it gets over the next 2-3 months.
Enjoy the great times ahead!
P.S. 47 is still young these days and most women from 20 upwards will happily go with an older guy in his 40s. It’s been like that for 1,000s of years, according to historical records of culture.
I cant belive how far my jaw dropped while reading this article! I am on the verge of divorce because I gave her ALL the control. No wonder our sex life sucked. She would get bitchy and demanding and I caved every time. Now she can barley stand the sight of me. I took a leadership position at work to help push myself in my carrear but at home I let her do the work and tried to kiss ass to make things work. What an idiot! I have a beautiful family and I am about to lose it unles I turn it around RIGHT NOW! I will be looking all over this site for more info on how to become a better real man. Any insight would be awesome before its too late!
Thanks for your comment.
I checked your e-mail in our customer database and noticed that you’ve purchased The Flow. You’ll learn a lot from that, but what you really should be watching is Better Than a Bad Boy: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89 It will teach you how to be the man she has been craving.
About you being an idiot: No, no, no. It’s not your fault man. The media is constantly bombarding us men with messages (in TV shows, TV advertising and movies) that make us think that being a good little boy for a woman (and letting her have all the power) is what she wants. However, that is ENTERTAINMENT, not EDUCATION.
A classic modern example is men doing housework and thinking that it will make the woman happy. Read this: http://www.themodernman.com/dating/relationships/should-men-do-housework.html (The man doing housework actually makes a woman want to divorce him MORE).
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