Guys often contact me for advice on how to keep a woman interested during the initial dating phases and well into a relationship. More often than not it’s because the guy lacks self-confidence and as a result, he doesn't seem himself as very valuable to women.
In some cases, a guy might have found himself dumped after his woman lost interest in him and the relationship. For other guys, they are struggling to get beyond a first date and hold a woman’s interest long enough to secure a second date, and in many cases, guys are simply looking for advice on how to hold a woman’s interest during a conversation after they’ve made an approach in a bar or some other social setting. Either way, it pretty much always comes back to the guy's lack of confidence in himself.
Are You an Interesting Guy Who Has an Interesting Lifestyle?
One of the biggest mistakes a guy can make is thinking that a woman won't remain interested in him if he leads a very “ordinary” life. Based on the the amazing lifestyles he sees other guys living on TV shows and in the movies, he begins to imagine that a guy has to be leading of James Bond kind of lifestyle to be of interest to a woman these days. Of course, this is total nonsense because in the real world (not the fantasy world of TV and movies), it’s not what a guy does that captures a woman’s interest, but who he is as a man.
If you’re confident enough to be yourself at all times and if you have clear understanding of who you are as a man and what you want from life, then you are an interesting guy. Yet, if you lack confidence around women, pretend to be something you're not and are too afraid to rise through the levels of life and reach your true potential as a man, then you're not an interesting guy. Instead, you're just another fearful, lower-ranking male who needs to a woman to take care of him and tell him that everything is going to okay.
When it comes to the topic of how to keep a woman interested, it’s not about doing 1,000s of fun and exciting things that you think might be of interest to her; it’s about being interesting as the man you already are. Sure, you should do interesting things and go to interesting places, but there are only so many places you can go before you've done it all. At then end of the day, keeping a woman interested when talking to her for the first time, on a date with her or 20 years into a relationship with her comes down to who you are as a man.
If you could work on one thing about yourself that would make it easy to keep a woman interested, it would be your self-confidence. If you are sincere about improving your success with women, then you need to develop the type of self-confidence wherein you always believe in yourself, you always keep pushing forward in life and you never give up until you achieve what you want. I call it Consistent Confidence and it is a key trait that women instinctively look for in a guy when they're first talking to him and while on a date. Some guys manage to get lucky and score themselves a woman without Consistent Confidence, but their insecurities always end up causing problems in the relationship (e.g. they become clingy or overly-protective and jealous) and it falls apart. With that in mind, let's have a look at some of the common mistakes that guys make when they lack confidence, but want to keep a woman interested.
Guys who lack confidence and don't consider themselves to be very interesting to women, often fall into the trap of pretending to be really confident and happy with their life in an effort to make themselves appear more interesting. Fake confidence and fake happiness are not the same as genuine self-confidence and genuine happiness and women are natural experts at telling the difference. Why? They have to be good at it to separate the real men from the fakers. If your body language doesn't match up to your confidently spoken words, a woman will see right through your act and will then be unable to feel true attraction and respect for you as a man. When it comes to knowing how to keep a woman interested, what you need to focus on is confidently and consistently being your true self, while also pushing forward in life and rising to your true potential as a man. Don't fake it, do it.
Trying Too Hard
A lack of confidence can also lead to trying way too hard to impress a woman, in the hopes of getting her interested and keep her interested. This might mean behaving like a super nice guy and trying really hard to say the right things all of the time, but being overly-nice in that way can make a guy come across as insincere and untrustworthy. A woman is not going to remain interested in a faker and she’s not gong to remain interested in a guy that she can’t trust as the “real deal” either. A woman is looking for genuine self-confidence in a man and she knows that a man who has it doesn’t need to try too hard to impress a woman. Instead, he impresses her simply by being his natural, cool and confident self all the time. It's not an act, it is who he really is. He really is a confident, cool guy and as a result, women (and people for that matter) like him and want to be around him. A big part of knowing how to keep a woman interested comes down to being able to relax into being your best self, all the time.
Putting Her on a Pedestal
Guys who lack self-confidence and thus doubt their ability to attract women and keep them interested, will often make the mistake of putting women on a pedestal. This might lead to behavior such as hanging on her every word, going along with everything she says and continually telling her how amazing he thinks she is, how beautiful and how much he likes spending time with her. Although some women will be flattered by all the attention and praise for a while, that won't last forever. Eventually (if she doesn't realize it immediately), she will pick up on the fact that the guy lacks confidence, isn't desired by other women and is basically hoping to score with her...if she will "let" him.
In his mind, he thinks it is a good idea to let her be in charge and he feels as though he's being the perfect gentleman by waiting until she is ready to like him in a sexual way. What he doesn't realize is that most modern women will have sex on the first night or first date and she will then love the guy and want to be in a relationship with him. If the guy is also a good guy, she will say, “He's so sweet to me. He's such a nice guy,” but she won't also say what really happened when they first met, “He made me work hard to impress him when we first met. I felt lucky to kiss him and snatch him as mine before some other girl did.” No...she'll just say that he is nice and sweet, which will further confuse the type of guy who puts women on a pedestal. He'll be thinking, “Well, I'm sweet to her! Why doesn't she like me?”
Sexual chemistry happens when you and a woman both feel sexual attraction for each other and like each other as people. If you can approach a woman with confidence and then let her experience your confidence and flirting during an interaction, she will become sexually attracted to you. To keep a woman interested, you then need to build on the sexual chemistry between you. This will happen naturally if you are confident and alpha and it will then build up to the point of feeling like you just have to kiss and have sex with each other.
Here at The Modern Man, we’ve helped 1,000s of guys to become the type of man that women desperately want to be with and stay with. We can help you too; we guarantee it. You are not a special case who cannot be helped; the advice in our programs will give you the power to attract women and keep them interested. We guarantee it.