Okay, so you know a woman and you REALLY like her, but for some reason you can’t seem to get her to be your girlfriend. Is she playing hard to get, or is she just not interested in anything sexual or romantic with you?
Watch the following video for classic signs that she does like you and actually wants you to kiss her:
The Kiss Test: 7 Signs That She Wants You to Kiss Her
Should You Tell Her About Your Feelings For Her?
Using the Wrong Approach
Unless you first attract a woman, she will usually reject you regardless of how much interest you show in her. When a guy attempts to seduce a woman incorrectly (i.e. by being a nice guy, pretending to be an innocent friend and then asking her out), he will usually get one of the following responses:
- “I’m not looking for a relationship right now.”
- “I like you, but don’t rush me.”
- “Give me some time. I don’t know what I want right now.”
So, what does she mean by those statements?
She is trying to tell you that she isn’t attracted to you. Yes, she might like you as a person, but liking a guy in a friendly way isn’t what makes a woman want to have sex with him. Sexual attraction is what makes a woman want to have sex and unless you are making her feel that, anything that you say about “seeing each other” or “dating” or “going out” will seem weird, awkward and even wrong to her.
Statements like the ones above also mean that you’re coming on strong and wanting her to commit to being your girlfriend, even though you haven’t yet kissed her or had sex with her. In the early 1900s, that was an appropriate dating strategy because almost all women didn’t have sex before marriage. They NEEDED a man to support them, provide for them and protect them.
In today’s world, you have to make a woman feel attracted to you and then at least kiss her (but preferably have sex with her first), before you even get to talking about seeing each other again or starting a relationship. Today’s women don’t need men like women did in the past and unless you know what you’re doing, most women will reject you. The flow of a sexual courtship HAS changed and if you use the approach that men used in the early 1900s, expect to be rejected.
Using the Right Approach
If you really like this girl, you have to stop what you’re doing and change your approach to her. Here’s what you need to do:
1. Focus on attracting her
Stop trying to get her to LIKE you and start making her feel sexually attracted to you. A woman liking you as a person is NOT the step before starting a sexual relationship with her. You have to make her feel sexually turned on by your confidence and behavior as well get her to like you as a guy.
2. Adjust your interest level
It is fine to be 100% sexually attracted to her, but it is not fine to be 100% interested in her prior to starting a sexual relationship. Instead of being 100% interested (otherwise known as “being too keen”), allow your interest level in her to rise and fall based on how well she is treating you. For instance, if you’re talking to her and she only gives short answers or says, “Uh-huh…uh-huh” and doesn’t even care what you’re saying, then stop talking to her. Pull back your interest and do something else.
3. Stop acting like a friend
Being a woman’s friend is not the way to get a girlfriend. You’ve got to talk to her in a way that makes her feel turned on, as well as directly show your sexual interest (e.g. by the way you look at her) or express it, (e.g. by smiling at her and telling her that you think she’s sexy).
If you act like a friend, you will be in the friend zone with her and all it will take for another guy to steal her from you is for him to come along, attract her, kiss her and then have sex with her. If the guy knows what he is doing and doesn’t make the mistake of acting like an innocent friend who isn’t sexually interested in her, he will usually be able to begin having sex with her right away.
4. Make her chase you
Women want to feel LUCKY to be chosen by YOU. They do not want to feel as though they are doing you a favor by going out with you. To make a woman chase you, she first has to feel attracted to you. From there, you need to raise and lower your interest level based on how good she is being to you. You also need to be confident so that other women feel attracted to you and she notices it.
When women see that other women are attracted to you, their attraction for you skyrockets. It’s not the same for us men. We usually decide if we want to have sex with a woman based on her appearance alone, but women take many different factors into account, including whether or not other women like you. If a woman senses that you are desperate and can’t attract other women, she won’t feel special or lucky to be with you. She will feel as though she is doing you a favor.