Love never dies…
It only ever gets pushed into the background because of a lack of respect and attraction.
From now on, if you focus on making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, she will begin to reconnect with the love that she once felt for you. As long as you can make her feel enough respect and attraction for you, she will begin to open up to the idea of being with you again.
Relationships Have Changed
In the past, a woman had to choose one man, marry him and then stick will him until the end. It was shameful to get divorced, so even if she wasn’t happy in the marriage, she had to put up with it.
In today’s world, a man has to be able to deepen a woman’s love, respect and attraction for him over time. If he fails to do that, the woman will gradually fall out of love with him and will then either break up with him, cheat on him or ask for space to be alone so she can then find a replacement guy and move on.
Before breaking up with a guy, a woman will go through three, distinct stages. Watch the video below (that I’ve made for guys who’ve already been dumped by their woman) to understand the 3-step process that a woman goes through before breaking up with a guy…
A Classic Break Up Scenario
Couples break up for all sorts of reasons (e.g. cheating, bored of being in a long distance relationship, trust issues, etc), but no matter what the specific reason is, the core problem is always about a loss of respect, attraction and love.
In terms of respect, some guys ruin a woman’s respect by being needy, while other guys ruin it by not needing her or caring about her at all. There are many different ways that it can happen, but when it happens, things change and a guy needs to know how to handle it or else he will make the problem worse.
Here is a classic break up scenario that explains what often happens when a woman changes how she feels and starts to pull back her interest…
When “John” and “Wendy” first began their relationship, everything felt blissful, exciting and hopeful.
They spent as much time as possible together, their sex life was amazing and John felt as though he’d finally met the woman of his dreams. She even said to him on a few occasions that she wanted to be his wife one day, start a family and grow old together.
Wendy really loved him and the feelings they were experiencing together were exciting and made life worth living. Everything seemed perfect and John didn’t think that Wendy could ever change how she felt.
Yet, she did…
All of a sudden, she became distant and was no longer interested in hugging, kissing or having sex like they used to. Not knowing what else to do, John reacted by becoming clingy and protective, which turned her off even more.
Instead of being the confident, easy-going guy that she first got into a relationship with, John was now an insecure, tense guy that needed her to tell him that she wouldn’t leave him. He would ask her things like, “Do you love me or not?” and try his best to be the nicest, most considerate, loving boyfriend he could.
Yet, it didn’t work.
He asked her why she was being so cold and demanded that she hug him, kiss him and show him affection like she used to. “What’s wrong with you? Why are you acting like this?” John would ask.
No matter what he said or did, Wendy only grew more distant and seemed even less interested in being with him. The more he tried to fix the problem, the worse it became.. She just wasn’t the same Wendy anymore. She was like a completely different woman now.
He reminded her that she used to tell him that she wanted to marry him, have a family and grow old together. “How can you forget how you felt before?” John would ask, “Have you forgotten all the good times we had? Do they count for nothing?”
Wendy looked down at the floor and remained silent. She looked up and said, “Well…no, it does count. We had good times before, but it’s just not the same anymore. I don’t feel the same way as I used to.”
John and Wendy had experienced some bad times in their relationship before, but this time it was different. John knew that something was seriously wrong, but didn’t know what to say or do to fix it.
He asked her to explain what was wrong, but she just said, “Nothing…I don’t know…I don’t want to talk about it.” John thought that if he just left her to think on her own, she would get over it and things would go back to normal in a few days.
Yet, nothing changed.
A few days later, Wendy called him up and said, “We need to talk. I’ve been thinking a lot and I just don’t feel like we should be together anymore.”
John was shocked.
This is was the woman who’d said she would marry him and grow old with him. How could she change her mind so quickly? Their relationship was so good before, so surely it could be fixed. John asked her what he could do to change her mind and she said, “I don’t know.”
Not having the courage to break up with him right then and there, Wendy said, “I think I just need space for a while. I need time to think and find myself. Maybe we just need a break for a while.”
John gave her space for three weeks and then called her. When could tell that he was hurting and lost without her.
She asked him, “So…how have you been? Are you okay?” and John then admitted that he hadn’t been able to sleep or eat properly since the break up, had been getting into trouble at work and basically staying at home waiting for her call.
Wendy realized that he was still the same insecure, needy John that she broke up with. John didn’t realize that behaving in that way isn’t attractive to women and he simply turned her off even more by saying that.
Did You Know That She Was Going to Break Up With You?
Before breaking up with a guy, a woman will usually give him plenty of warning and a lot of signs that she is rapidly losing interest in the relationship.
Here are some classic signs that a woman is beginning to think of breaking up with a guy…
1. She is rarely available to see him
Unless something else in her life (e.g. work, study) is taking up all of her free time, a woman will always make herself available for the man she loves. Women thrive on having love flowing through their life and when a woman is with a man that she loves, she will make time for him no matter what.
2. She avoids communication with him
Most women stay in close contact with the man they love. If she is avoiding his calls and taking a long time to reply to his texts or messages, it’s a clear sign that she isn’t interested. The best way to test a woman’s interest level is to stop all communication for a 7 days. If she loves you and wants to be with you, she will contact you within that time.
If she doesn’t, it’s pretty clear that she has fallen out of love with you, is cheating on you with another guy or just isn’t interested in being in a relationship with you.
3. She flirts with other men in his presence
It is fine for a woman to be social and friendly with other men in a group setting, but when she OPENLY and OBVIOUSLY starts FLIRTING in a sexual way with a man (or men) in front of her boyfriend (fiance or husband) presence it means that she’s not his girl, she’s anyone’s girl.
4. She goes out partying without him on a regular basis
Some guys get lucky when they meet their girlfriend or wife. They don’t really know how to attract women properly and simply met a girl who gave them a chance.
In cases like that, many women will keep their “lucky boyfriend” around until they find another guy to replace him. If she going out to party with her friends without him on a regular basis, it means that she is opening herself up to meeting and hooking up with new men.
If a woman loves you, respects you and wants to be with you, she would want you to come along to the party or she would have little interest in going out to party on a regular basis.
5. She avoids sex or affection as much as possible
If a woman is attracted to her man, respects him and is in love with him, she will naturally have the urge to hug, kiss and have sex with him.
However, when a woman (who was previously into hugging, kissing and having sex with her man) suddenly becomes turned off by it and doesn’t change, it means that she is turned off by what her man has been saying and doing around her.
She has lost respect and attraction for him and if he doesn’t know what to say or do to get that back, she will continue to move on. The only way that he can change how she feels is to change his approach to her.
For example: Be loving rather than desperate or needy, be confident rather than insecure and make her laugh rather than making her feel annoyed.
Only when he is able to say and do the things that make her feel respect and attraction for him, will she then begin to change how she feels. If a woman feels respect, love and attraction for a guy, she will naturally have the urge to hug him, kiss him and have sex with him.
6. She doesn’t care about her appearance anymore
There are always going to be times when both of you aren’t looking your best (e.g. hungover in the morning, feeling sick with the flu, etc), but women in a happy relationship will always make a huge effort to look attractive for her man.
If she no longer cares about what her man thinks of her physical appearance and puts little or no effort into making herself look appealing, it means that she no longer cares about him.
7. She no longer gets jealous about other women, at all
In the past, if he mentioned another woman during conversation and talked about her attractiveness in a positive way, she would become jealous and possibly even get upset about it. Now, he can talk about other women all day and she doesn’t care one bit.
She may even go as far as encouraging him to start hooking up with other women and tell him that she doesn’t mind.
If a woman ever says that, you can be 100% sure that she has now opened herself to the idea of hooking up with other guys. She no longer sees you as the guy that she wants to spend the rest of your life with.
If another guy (who knows how to make her feel sexual attraction) meets her and kisses her, she will most-likely cheat on you and then break up with you. I hear about cases like that all time where a guy suddenly gets dumped because his woman kisses a random guy or starts having sex with a guy from work, university, etc.
What Do You Want to Do About it?
If you’re reading this post, you’ve mostly been broken up with by a woman or you are currently in a relationship with a girl who doesn’t seem that interested in you anymore.
So, what do you want to do about it? Here are your three options:
- Get the spark back in your existing relationship before it breaks up.
- Get a new woman.
- Get her back and give the relationship another shot.