Is She Still In Love with You?

56 Comments


Is she still in love with you?

A woman will "fall out of love" with a man if he can't guide her into deeper love, attraction and respect for him. The nature of human love between a man and a woman requires the man to be able to guide the woman into deeper love. If he doesn't, she will naturally feel repelled by him and begin trying to end the relationship, if possible.

Imagine this...

When “John” first got together with “Wendy” everything was blissful. They shared as much time together as possible, their sex life was amazing and John felt as though he'd finally met the woman of his dreams and that the two of them were going to be together for life.

Then, suddenly something had changed. Wendy unexpectedly seemed distant and John had a sense that his love life was in jeopardy...and it was! Of course, relationships normally have their ups and downs and John and Wendy had survived those in the past, but this time it just “felt” different. He knew something was wrong. A few days later Wendy said, “We need to talk” and proceeded to tell him that she wanted time apart to think because she just didn't feel the same way anymore.

Can You Sense When a Woman Falls Out of Love With You?

It doesn’t matter whether a couple has been dating a few weeks, several months or have been together for a decade or more, a man can (and should) sense that his woman is seriously thinking about breaking up with him and their relationship is in deep trouble. We’ll talk about the man’s role in maintaining a woman's interest, but first let’s look at the common signs women display before giving you the “We have to talk” discussion.

Signals That She’s No Longer Interested

If a woman shows her guy one or more of these signals, he can bet that she’s going to be heading out the door in the near future.

  1. She’s unavailable to go out on a date: Unless there’s a major project going on at her work or something similar is happening in her life that is briefly taking up all of her free time, a woman always makes herself available for the man she loves. Women thrive on having love flowing in their life and when a woman is with a man that she loves, is attracted to and respects, she will make time for him no matter what.

  2. She avoids communication with him: Women love to talk, text, write or otherwise stay in close contact with the man they love. If she avoids his calls, signs off from a website (such as Facebook) when he starts an online conversation with her, gives a one-word or short replies when they’re chatting (to keep her answers brief and non-committal), or she is otherwise non-communicative, she has lost (or is quickly losing) interest in the man she has a relationship with. When a woman loves you, is attracted to you and respects you, she will always make herself available. However, that being said, you shouldn't always be trying to contact her if you want to maintain the dynamic (that women WANT) where she is chasing you and trying to keep YOU interested. If you want to learn about how to create and maintain that dynamic, watch The Modern Relationship.

  3. She flirts with other men in his presence: It is one thing for a woman to be social and friendly with other men in a group setting (even with her boyfriend/husband around), but it’s quite another when she OPENLY and OBVIOUSLY starts FLIRTING in a sexual way with a man (or men) in his presence. If that happens, then she's not your girl, she's anyone's girl.

  4. She avoids sex or displays of affection as much as possible: When she makes excuses about why she doesn’t want to kiss, hold hands or engage in similar expressions of affection with her man (in private or in front of others) when she never had that issue with it in the past, there’s a BIG problem. Another variation is when the only time she spends in bed with her man is to rest next to him because she’s tired or isn't feeling well or to go to sleep because has to get up early. If there was never an issue before, a man should immediately see that there’s something very wrong with his relationship.

  5. She doesn’t care about her appearance anymore: Of course when a couple is living together or they spend a lot of time in each other’s company, there are going to be times when she’s won't look her best, but women in a happy relationship will make an big effort to look attractive for her man whenever possible.


  6. She no longer gets jealous about other women, at all: In the past, if her boyfriend/husband mentioned another woman during conversation and talked about her attractiveness in a positive way, she would become jealous and possibly even get upset about it. Now, her guy can talk about women all day and she’ll barely raise an eyebrow or have any reaction at all. It will be even worse if he mentions the woman and she starts talking to her man as though he is a friend and she is encouraging him to go after a woman he seems to like.

There are numerous other signs she may give, but the ones listed above are the most obvious and common.

When Things Begin to Fall Apart

At the beginning of a relationship, most couples ignore signals that mean the relationship is going to be a short one because the chemistry and sex between them feels so good. It's different, it's new and it's fun to have sex again. However, once the relationship starts to settle down, both people begin to pay more attention to the signals that reveal to them that they’re probably not going to be a good match in the long-run. Those type of impending break-ups are generally started by women, or by men who have choice with women.

Guys who are desperate and have simply gotten lucky, will usually try to cling on to what they've got, even though the woman is clearly indicating that she wants out and no longer feels it. Women tend to be more aware of a man’s personality traits and how they will positively or negatively affect her during a relationship. Obviously, if she is with a confident, masculine guy who makes her laugh and makes her feel intense sexual attraction because of his personality style, she is going to want to stick right by him. However, if she is with a hesitant, insecure guy who makes her laugh, but doesn't make her feel much sexual attraction at all because he isn't strong enough (mentally and emotionally), she's going to be thinking of how she can get away from him as soon as possible. Since most women are too afraid to just come out and say, “It's over. I don't want to be with you anymore” they will say things like “I need some space” (Read: My Girlfriend Said She Needs Some Space) or “I need some time apart to think.”

Factors That May Delay, But Not Avoid a Breakup

In the case of a married or otherwise fully committed couple who have children or other long-term obligations, even though the relationship is not going well, the woman will sometimes unhappily stay with her man “for the sake of the children” or some other powerful reason. However, once their children are grown or she feels more financially or emotionally independent, she may start to seriously consider and display behavior that will signal an impending breakup. If her man doesn’t start to change his ways, usually characteristics he’s displayed for a long time and which she has pointed out to him as being unsatisfactory to her, the breakup will likely happen even sooner than she may have initially planned.

A lot of guys don't realize that the mother of their children (girlfriend or wife), is secretly planning when she can break up with him. He keeps going along as if everything is fine and ignores the signals I've mentioned above and many others that women will show when they've fallen out of love with their guy. By the way: If you are in that type of situation or if you have a girlfriend/wife and want to avoid her falling out of love with you, I recommend you watch The Modern Relationship and learn how to make specific changes to your relationship dynamic so your woman's love, attraction and respect for you GROWS over time, rather than fading away.

When a Man’s Behavior Makes Her Want to End the Relationship

Often, when a couple have settled into what seems to be a “successful relationship,” some guys, especially those who are normally insecure and are just happy that they have a woman with them (even if they are secretly more attracted to other women and don't really find their girlfriend/wife that attractive at all), tend to slip into their old ways and become lax in their relationship skills.

After a while, they begin to display characteristics that their woman will see as negative and undesirable. When this happens, a woman will start to consider breaking up with him and often will display one or more of the signals (outlined earlier in the article) that precede their breakup. Here are some common things that a guy will do, which will in turn kill a woman's attraction, love and respect for him and begin to chip away at the foundations of their relationship.

Moody, But Uncommunicative

As we all know, life isn’t always perfect every day and every hour and sometimes, there can be many things going wrong in a man’s life all at once. It's during these times when a man can either build on a woman's love, attraction and respect for him or begin to lose it. One of the many mistakes that men make during these times (there are other, more devastating mistakes that I explain and provide solutions for in Better Than a Bad Boy) is being upset/moody, but not talking about the issues with his girlfriend/wife.

Many women complain about this type of behavior and note that they can obviously see their man is distraught, but a woman questions what’s going on and how she can help, if she's always turned away and told “Nothing’s wrong...!” or “I’ll handle it” she will eventually begin to lose respect, attraction and love for the guy. She'll lose respect because he's not being respectful to her, attraction because he's behaving like a woman and love because she's losing attraction and respect for him. Even if a man doesn’t want to follow his woman's advice, he should at least respect her enough to explain what’s happening and to listen to her thoughts on the matter.

Destroying Her Love, Attraction and Respect...Daily

When a couple first gets together, they usually spend as much time as possible together because they miss each other and are enjoying all the new, wonderful feelings that come in the first stage of a relationship (see The 5 Stages of a Relationship). However, the initial excitement usually dies away because the guy doesn't know how to not only maintain a woman's love, attraction and respect for him, but BUILD on it.

The couples who stay together are the ones who are able to build on their attraction, love and respect for each other, while the others all eventually fall apart. Most guys are able to get through the first stage of a relationship because women will put up with errors and annoying personality traits until the novelty of having sex with a new person wears off. After that, she'll start focussing heavily on why he isn't the man for her and will either break up with the guy, cheat on him and then tell him about it or begin treating him so badly that it only makes sense that they take a break.

By the way, if you want to learn how to create and maintain the type of relationship dynamic where your woman's love, attraction and respect for you grows over time, rather than fading away, I recommend you watch The Modern Relationship. I often hear back from guys who've saved their marriage or long-term relationship by following the advice in that program. It's natural, practical and most importantly – it WORKS in the modern relationship environment.

Being Unreasonably Jealous or Insecure

After a while together, it won’t be unusual for a woman (in a happy or unhappy relationship) to suddenly realize that she hasn’t been with her friends in a while. She'll get the urge to hang out with them or will want to take up hobbies or activities that she enjoyed before they met. All of this is normal – just as it would be for a man to resume his interests, catch up with his buddies or enjoy activities he participated in before meeting his lady. However, a huge problem begins to emerge when an insecure guy suddenly starts panicking with jealousy when his lady wants to go out for dinner with her friends, or rejoin an exercise class or do some other innocent activity she used to participate in. Some men will even become upset about business trips she has to take for work, or time she wants to set aside for family or coworkers.

When a man’s anxieties start to manifest into this type of insecurity and jealousy and he makes a fuss about his woman spending time with anyone other than him, all sorts of relationship problems will begin bubbling to the surface. At first (during the “Lust and Romance” stage of a relationship) she might find it charming that he wants to spend all of his free time with her but, after a while, she is going to become resentful that she has to justify every minute of her day spent away from him.

Stepping Down from His Leadership Role

Women are attracted to men who assert their leadership and power in life and in their relationship. They enjoy men who are in charge of the important aspects of their relationship and who make plans for how they are going to spend their time together. Unfortunately too many guys (who behave like lower-ranking men. Read: The Consequences of Not Being an Alpha Male) will, over time, relinquish their leadership/alpha role in the relationship and turn it over to the woman.

All women will “test” their man and make a fuss over some aspect of their relationship, in order to see how he behaves in response. Alpha males understand this and will stand strong and not relinquish their leadership role. The woman will then happily step back and show less-dominant behavior. Lower-ranking males (i.e. any type of guy beneath an alpha male) on the other hand, will assume that if they don’t give the woman what she wants, they will lose her, so they step back and become the more submissive person in the relationship.

In situations like that, some women will take on being the stronger one but, over time she will resent her man and lose respect for him for allowing her to be the “leader.” She will be wide open to any offers of interest from alpha males and will find it painless and easy to instantly break it off with her current guy and move on with her life with a real man. The same applies for a man who is with an unattractive woman whom he doesn't fully love, feel attraction for or respect: If a beautiful woman comes along who also has all the personality traits he is looking for, it will be easy for him to leave his current woman if he chooses to do so.

Taking Her For Granted

When a couple first gets together, most men will have a strong sense of passion that they display in and out of the bedroom. However, once a couple gets more settled, too many guys slip into a less exciting, standard (and boring) routine.

A woman in a relationship like that will be able to virtually plot out how a sexual encounter will go, or know exactly where they will go out to eat for dinner or how any type of “date” they might have will go. She can see that her lover has stopped putting in any sort of effort into their relationship because he “assumes” that if it worked in the past, it should still be working for him now. That’s where he’s very wrong.

Woman in “comfortable” relationships occasionally (not always) still want to be wooed and romanced as they were when they first got together with their man. However, the best approach is to create the type of relationship dynamic where your woman is always trying to impress you and maintain YOUR interest. That is what we teach here at The Modern Man and if you want to learn about it, I recommend that you watch The Modern Relationship.


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Dan_Bacon_author_photo By Dan Bacon, Founder of The Modern Man. (Personal photos with women)



Relationships

56 Responses to “Is She Still In Love with You?”

  1. Jared Reply November 29, 2012 at 5:00 pm

    Dan, this article brought about s*** loads of painful memories. Described me and my previous girlfriend in every small yet significant detail. The hardest thing was to feel like you were the only guy in the world who suffered this. Not to sound selfish, it’s sort of relieving to see that it wasn’t just me (worst chapter of my life and one all guys should vow never to experience). A couple of days or so after my ex dumped me, she came back to me with a tough attitude and was accusing her friends of thinking she still missed me. Needless to say, I returned the attitude and I told her we were through and that her friends were probably talking rubbish. She deleted me from Facebook straight after and requested friendship again some time later. With all the crap she gave me, I refused her request (twice so far). 4 years later, we are pretty much friends since she joined a social activity I do. I do still get a little nervous being around her. Do you think during that time after the break up, she sort of wanted to give me a hinted message that she wanted me back or was testing my stance at that time?

    • Dan Bacon Reply December 1, 2012 at 2:12 pm

      Hi Jared

      Thanks for your question.

      Yes, thinking that you are the only one going through a problem situation or suffering from a issue is a common assumption that humans make. However, the truth is that the more personal your problem is, the more common it is. For instance, Guys who are shy often think that it’s only them who gets nervous in front of other people. However, most people suffer from some level of social anxiety or shyness. Of course, for me, I’ve cured myself of all that unnecessary stuff and have been living in a state of pure confidence ever since.

      As for your question: It doesn’t matter what she was thinking back then. We can only guess. The only thing that matter is whether she has lost respect for you as a man, which in turn has killed her attraction and made her fall out of love with you. If a woman loses respect for a guy as a man (i.e. he makes these type of mistakes: 7 Reasons Why Women Lose Respect For Men), she will then lose attraction for him and then begin to fall out of love with him. The only way to change her feelings about you is to be a real man and CONTINUE being that, so she can go through the process of respecting you, then feeling attraction for you again and then once again falling in love.

      You need to care less about what women say or do and spend more time focussing on being a man. Women hate guys who always worry what women think.

      Cheers
      Dan

  2. Boham Reply December 3, 2012 at 6:39 pm

    Seems this article was talking to me. Am going through this right now and its not pleasant. The first few months were magical but things got out of hand and wanted us to quit because it wasn’t working with the distance and all. i managed to convince her to change her mind. i think its getting worse now. conversations are now routine and she picks when she wants to talk. am getting fed up but cant convince myself to let her go. she behaves like we the best when her friends are around but everything goes back to normal when they are not around. No matter how bored or annoyed i am, hearing her voice changes everything.
    We loosing it now. Don’t know what to do

    • Dan Bacon Reply December 5, 2012 at 10:11 am

      Hi Boham

      Thanks for your comment.

      This is pretty simple. She doesn’t feel much attraction for you and doesn’t respect you as a man. How do I know that? She would be calling you if she felt attraction for you and respected you. It sounds like you’ve made many of the classic mistakes that cause a woman to lose interest.

      If you want to get her interest back, you need to learn how to be the man that she wants. Watch Better Than a Bad Boy and then next comment you will be making is, “Dan, my girlfriend doesn’t stop calling me. She’s addicted to being around me. How can I get her to relax and stop thinking about me so much!” Lol…sounds like an exaggeration, but use the advice and you will see what happens to her.

      Cheers
      Dan

  3. Craig Reply January 7, 2013 at 6:35 pm

    Hello Dan,

    Basically I met a girl who was hot around a year ago now and we were meeting each other regularly and having sex each time we met and I really liked the girl too.

    Then all of a sudden, we stopped talking, no idea why to this day.

    I didn’t want to message her on Facebook or text her, but then I did recently.

    I said hello to her on facebook and she said hi back, then I replied “long time no see ;) how’s it going?” To which she never replied, any advice as to how I can get this to how it once was?

    Plus when I told my friends about the girl I was having sex with and showed her nude pics she sent me they showed me loads of respect and this is why I find this girl really desirable.

    Regards,

    Craig

    • Dan Bacon Reply January 10, 2013 at 1:21 pm

      Hi Craig

      Thanks for your question.

      If both of you stopped talking to each other, it’s a pretty clear sign that the relationship you were having was not a high priority for either of you. Put it this way, if she was madly in love with you and you stopped calling her all of a sudden, she would call. Vice versa.

      It sounds like it was a pretty average relationship where you both just using each other for a bit of sex, attention and affection. How do you get the original spark back? Have sex with her again. However, this time, use the relationship approach I explain The Modern Relationship so you both fall madly in love with each other.

      Cheers
      Dan

  4. Tom Reply January 9, 2013 at 6:50 am

    Hey Dan, I believe this is what lead to my gf breaking up with me. Idk if she still likes me and regrets breaking up with me. I just saw her after 3 weeks of winter break and she is subtly trying to get my attention like coming into my view and checking if I’m looking. She is also indirectly hitting on guys when I’m around. Its so obvious that she is purposely doing it. For instance, there is this guy she hooked up with and she knows I know. So she was holding onto his arm and checking if I was looking. The guy has a gf so I don’t have to worry. She’s also very quiet now. She would be louder and happier. Now she just looks sad. She told me over text last week that she doesn’t want to get back together but still wants to be friends. I told her in a humourous way that we will just play it by the ear and I understand her feelings. She didn’t reply after. Why did she say that but is trying get my attention and being sad? I also want to fix the awkwardness around us. Its not me that’s making it awkward, it’s just her. She told my friend that she doesn’t want an awkward relationship with me but it’s her that is making it awkward.
    Thanks

    • Dan Bacon Reply January 11, 2013 at 1:39 pm

      Hi Tom

      Thanks for your question.

      Yes, it’s sound pretty obvious to me that your ex is simply trying to make you feel bad (hitting on guys in front of you) so you show her attention. She will then be able to feel good about herself until she finds another guy to fully replace you. It’s not that she’s a mean person, but simply insecure. Insecure people do those types of things to avoid experiencing painful emotions. She wants to feel good about herself and is immature enough to be okay with making you feel bad so she can feel good about herself.

      You just need to get on with dating other women, being confident in yourself and going after what you’re trying to achieve in life. The more she sees that from you, the more she will be attracted to you and respect you.

      Cheers
      Dan

  5. Craig Reply January 12, 2013 at 1:17 pm

    Dan,

    What is the most effective way to open a girl on Facebook?

    I am a professional man working two jobs so I find it hard to get out during the week and sometimes weekends, this would be a big help.

    Also, with regards to before, is it a good idea to tell the girl I was having sex with, how I really feel?

    Craig

    • Dan Bacon Reply January 13, 2013 at 8:34 am

      Hi Craig

      Thanks for your questions.

      1. Honestly mate, that’s a lame excuse for the real reason, “I am afraid to approach women I find attractive.” Watch this video about online dating and be more honest with yourself.

      2. She probably already knows how you feel. If she liked you, she would have reached out and tried to contact you. She didn’t reply to you for a reason. If you are really keen to rekindle things and have another shot, go through The Flow process with her from scratch…but save the “feelings” speech until after you’ve had sex with her again.

      Cheers
      Dan

  6. Jonah Reply January 14, 2013 at 2:27 am

    Hey Dan I just came across your website a couple of weeks ago and I like what you have here. I’m not currently able to buy any of the products but I defiantly plan on getting them in the future. But anyways I have a question and this seemed like the best place to ask it.
    Let me start by saying im still in highschool. Alright I just started dating this girl very recently. We met at my freinds house a couple of weeks ago and went ice skating that night, I felt like I played my cards right with her and the night ended with us making out in my basement. Immediately after she wanted to get in a relationship. I thought it was a little fast but I went with it. After that she was constantly texting and facetiming me. I was cool with that but I feel like she is starting to get bored. She lives 20 minutes by car ride away and goes to a different school and it doesnt help that we don’t have our licenses and she is really busy all the time so it’s hard to see her. It’s been over a week sense I last saw her. She’s a really cool girl and I want to have a long lasting relationship with her but I think she’s getting bored. How can I spark that initial interest with her so I can play my cards a little differently and have her pushing all of her stuff aside to spend time with me instead of me pushing all my stuff aside to see her?
    -Jonah

    • Dan Bacon Reply January 14, 2013 at 2:11 pm

      Hey Jonah

      Thanks for your question.

      The answer to this one is pretty simple: Have sex with her. She will then make time for you. To do that, you might need to organize what I call a “Half Date.” Read: My New Secret Weapon For First Dates

      Also, I would recommend you read The Flow so you can make her more attracted and interested in you (rather than bored!) each time you text, Facetime or talk on the phone.

      Cheers
      Dan

  7. Farhad Reply January 14, 2013 at 3:25 am

    Hey Dan,

    I heard about you recently and your dating programs seem 100% more effective than any other products on the market, and you also seem like a genuine dude. I just wanted to ask you a question though; Im in college and last year I was seeing this girl who was a transfer student from Argentina, and I hit it off with her extremely well. Unfortunately she was the only girl I was with because I was never used to approaching girls, even though I’ve heard numerous female friends/classmates tell me im very attractive. Anyways I technically never asked her out, we would text a lot and hang out occasionally after school. The problem is, I didnt even kiss her until 3 months after first talking to her, and she had to kiss me! I began feeling insecure and nervous around this time because I feared losing her, this was b4 she went back to her country. I felt like she went cold on me and lost all interest after this, what did I do? any suggestions on this 1? (btw I was confident with her in the first month of knowing her, but lost it later on). Ill never see her again but I never want to feel this crappy with women again.

    Thanks man, and can you recommend 1 of your products for a guy with these types of problems?

    • Dan Bacon Reply January 14, 2013 at 12:10 pm

      Hi Farhad

      Thanks for your positive feedback and question.

      Wow, you didn’t kiss her for 3 months? She had to kiss you first? Phew! The poor girl! :) Lol…she would have thinking, “What the heck is this guy doing??” She will learn from that experience and not waste months of her life again with another guy who treats her like tha. She’ll know what to look for and will reject guys who are as sexually hesitant as you were.

      Why didn’t you kiss her? You probably thought it wasn’t the right time or she “wasn’t ready” or something like that. You may have been so afraid of rejection that you waited until she made it completely obvious before you did anything. In most cases, a woman will NOT kiss a guy first and will simply lose interest and move on to another guy. In your case, it sounds like you got lucky because she was inexperienced.

      By the way…

      These days, a lot of guys get brainwashed by what they see in TV shows (e.g. women slapping guys for showing sexual interest, women tipping a drink over a guy’s head for trying to kiss her, etc) because they fail to make the distinction between ENTERTAINMENT and EDUCATION. What you see on TV and in movies is mostly designed to entertain you, rather than educate you. In the REAL world, if a woman is attracted to you she WANTS you to kiss her and she will NOT reject you. However, if she is NOT attracted to you and you try to kiss her, she will simply tell you that she isn’t interested. She won’t slap you, tip a drink over your head or call a bunch of her male friends over to beat you up. Real life is completely different to the drama you see played out on TV for the sake of the viewer’s entertainment. I recommend you read this article about kissing and learn how it important of a step it is in a natural, sexual courtship: The Kissing Drug

      Anyway, onto the product recommendation. I recommend that you start with The Flow because it sounds like you have a lot to learn about the fundamentals of attracting a woman and going through a natural, sexual courtship. If you need to learn more after that (some guys pick things up quicker than others and don’t need a lot more training after learning from one of our programs. However, some guys need to learn from a few or all programs and have things explained in many different ways, with 100s of examples before they finally understand everything), I would recommend Dating Power for you.

      It also depends on how you like to learn. Some people prefer to read, others to watch videos and others to listen to audio. I recommend you check out this page: Which Product is Perfect For You?

      If you have any further questions, just ask.

      Cheers
      Dan

  8. Alex, UK Reply January 20, 2013 at 6:08 pm

    Hi Dan

    Great download and lots of ideas and techniques I can apply to my relationship of six months.

    Im been dating this great girl but Im not always happy with her behaour and nasty comments sometimes. Sex is still their along with the physical but she can be very demanding and bossy and seems comfortable with saying nasty things sometimes. She is a solicitor, a professional and earns twice as much as me, and she acts the same around her partents as she still lives at home. I think maybe its not the relationship but just how she is with people close to her, but is very nice with strangers and her close friends?? She says she loves me and texts regular. She is a very insecure girl which also causes probs, like watchng TV she will say how hot guys are all the time, so I started doing it and she gets annoyed !! One thing is its my first serious relationship and sometimes struggle with handling it.. Your download has been very helpful and knocks the nail on the head in lots of areas..keep up the good work.

    Alex

    • Dan Bacon Reply January 21, 2013 at 12:42 pm

      Hey Alex

      Thanks for your positive feedback.

      This is a classic example of lacking what I call “Relationship Intelligence.” Just like with academic intelligence, social intelligence, emotional intelligence and so on – each area requires learning and practice. It’s only natural that you would be making “newbie mistakes” in your relationship that are allowing such issues to arise. No woman would ever treat me like that. If she did, I would be ushering her out the door in seconds unless she apologized profusely.

      Cheers
      Dan

  9. Michelle Reply January 21, 2013 at 8:41 am

    First, I want to say you touched on many points that are true. Can’t recall you mentioning, allowing her into your world. Just as guys want to feel “needed”, so do women. We don’t want to feel as if guys only need us to do the “womanly” things (home, bills, etc.) And we especially don’t like being told we can’t handle stress. Everyone’s life has stress but when a couple fights those stresses of the world together, WE can beat anything.
    You also stated taking her for granted. This is how I felt in my 13+ years (relationship/marriage combined). And yes it has taking a toll on our relationship but like one of the comments on here stated, “No matter how bored or annoyed i am, hearing her voice changes everything.” That’s how I feel. For the guys who read this, treat you lady with the utmost respect. If you love her, tell her, show her because we don’t like trying to figure out how you feel about us. And if you’re not good verbally expressing yourself, write her a note. She’ll appreciate it more than you could possibly imagine. We’re sentimental like that. :)

    • Dan Bacon Reply January 21, 2013 at 12:48 pm

      Hi Michelle

      Thanks for your positive feedback and for sharing your experiences.

      Yes, too often in a relationship, both a man and a woman can forget about showing their true love and appreciation for the other person. If both people know how to behave in a relationship, things just flow so smoothly and everything is great. However, in most cases, the man has no idea and the woman is left feeling as though she needs to take on the leadership role and guide the man. Of course, most women do not like that at all. The best case scenario is when a man knows how to guide his woman into deeper feelings of love, respect and attraction for him. When he understands that a relationship is about growing more and experiencing more than you could on your own.

      Our mission here at The Modern Man is to help as many guys understand what it means to be a man in life and with women, so that both men AND women can enjoy happier, more passionate and fulfilling lives together.

      About your suggestion of guys writing a note to their girl: It’s true. A man should show his love in all sorts of ways. However, a woman should be doing so at the same time. It has to be balanced.

      Cheers
      Dan

  10. Mark Reply February 2, 2013 at 7:24 am

    Gentlemen,

    I’m enjoying the material so far, thanks. I’m writing to seek advice for my current situation.

    I have been an inconsistent Alpha throughout my life. I have enjoyed the pleasures of many beautiful women, and have fallen for a few even. I met an amazing, beautiful woman almost two years ago. We hit it off, shared many common interests, and bonded. A few months into the relationship, it dawned on me that I really loved her. It was a different kind of love that I had felt before, though. It wasn’t the “my souls on fire gotta have you” feeling. It was a smoldering, slow-burning flame. The kind I knew that if nurtured would last a lifetime. Having never felt something like before, it freaked me the hell out. Long story short, out of fear of losing that feeling and her, I lost myself…my mojo. In sport-speak, from that moment I played to not lose instead of to win. With my confidence and security gone, I continued to project masculinity. Masculinity without self-assuredness, an “Alpha Mindset” and no respect for women’s feminity is arrogance. That arrogance bred stupidity. Completely off my game in no man’s land, I took the “act like I don’t care to keep her card” way too far without doing much to make up for it. After almost a year and half of this, she ended it. When that happened I went from having false confidence to a pleading, sobbing, begging, pathetic Omega for 3.5 months afterward. She still insisted we be friends and talked, texted, hung out a couple times, but it usually wound up with me in an Omega state being with her.

    I made her lose her attraction for me so she broke up, but I made her lose respect for me post-relationship. Other fish in the sea, blah blah, I know. I’ve had a few rebound flings, but she’s the one I want. I really and truly love her and want to spend my life with her. She’s put herself back on the dating market. I walked away from the situation about a week ago and haven’t contacted her and don’t plan to for at least a month.

    I’m using you courses to help me find myself again, but not sure how to approach the task of showing her I am again the confident, masculine, charming Alpha that made her fall for me in the first place.

    Advice, please.

    Mark

    • Dan Bacon Reply February 2, 2013 at 7:33 am

      Hi Mark

      Thanks for your question.

      Great to hear that you’re enjoying the material. However, I need you to starting it into action more. It sounds like you are learning, but not doing much with the advice you learn. The old saying “Knowledge is power” is an incomplete saying. It should actually be, “Knowledge is power when used.”

      On to your question: You have pretty much stuffed this one up. The way you behaved around her is SO unattractive that it’s the equivalent of her packing on 200 pounds, having big yellow, puss-filled pimples all over body, vomiting all over you, stepping in a big pile of dog poop, rubbing it all over herself and then saying, “Come here. Hug me, kiss me, lick my body.”

      Gross, I know.

      However, that is about as turned off as a woman feels when a man behaves like you did.

      So, how do you get her back? Okay, now imagine that the unattractive woman I just explained suddenly arrived at your door in perfect shape, in a sexy bikini, smelling like the soft, beautiful perfume of a sexy woman and just looking amazingly beautiful. She looks so good that you immediately feel attraction for her and cannot help but want to have sex with her.

      THAT is how you need to make her feel about you.

      The ONLY way to do that is to become a strong, confident, masculine man who knows how to make her feel like a real woman during ANY interaction, whether it be a conversation, cuddle on the couch or sex. You have to make her feel AMAZING around you by being the man she truly wants. That advice is provided in Better Than a Bad Boy. I checked (using the e-mail you provided when making a comment) and can see that you have purchased Better Than a Bad Boy. My advice? Use the advice! All of the answers, techniques, strategies and solutions (for becoming the man that women desperately want) are in that program.

      Use the advice. Transform yourself into the man that will giving her SHOCKINGLY powerful feelings of love, respect and attraction. That is what you need to do.

      Cheers
      Dan

      • Mark Reply February 3, 2013 at 5:04 pm

        Dan,

        Thanks for your reply. Last night I went to dinner with a colleague and his gal. She had a friend in town for a day and didn’t want to feel like a third wheel, so I got the invite. I was reluctant to accept and kind of dreaded the whole thing driving to the restaurant because I had the ex-girl on the brain and wasn’t feeling up to it. As I got closer to the restaurant I decided this would be a great opportunity to get back in the game and just have fun. My buddy was running about 30 min late so I knew I was going to have these two women at the table whom I never met before all to myself. I just rolled with it man. I applied GIST and techniques from the FLOW (in other words being “myself” again for the first time in a long time). The girl I was set up with was eating out of the palm of my hand within minutes. She was a strong type of woman, too…a bit of a masculine front. She actually said to me that I scare her because she had never liked a guy that much so fast. 45 minutes after sitting down at the table she was asking if I would come to visit her in California. Needless to say, I got lucky last night.

        I still love my ex-gal and still want her back. I know you said just to apply what I’ve been “re”-learning. My concern is how to go about it in my situation with her. She’s dating again now, and I know has this unattractive perception of me. I haven’t had contact with her in a week and a half. Should I continue no contact for a while? When I do reach out to her what would be the best approach? This has got me a little stumped. Your guidance is appreciated.

        Mark

        • Dan Bacon Reply February 6, 2013 at 2:44 pm

          Hi Mark

          Thanks for your question.

          When you interact with her again, you need to be an attractive man (i.e. confident, emotionally secure, masculine, etc). Simply be the guy that I explain how to be in Better Than a Bad Boy and she will naturally begin respecting you again and will feel some level of attraction. From there, she will begin to open herself to the idea that, “Hey, he isn’t so bad after all. In fact, he’s a LOT better than most guys I’ve met since. Maybe I made a mistake.” Since she is already dating, the best way to get her attention and speed up the process of her wanting you back is for you to hook up with a woman who is at least as hot as her, but ideally hotter. When that happens, she will see that other women like you and maybe she did make a mistake. Just make sure you continue using the approach I talk about in Better Than a Bad Boy when you interact with her. Be strong, don’t fall for her tests. She will test – she will want to know if you’re an improved man for real, or are just putting on an act.

          Cheers
          Dan

  11. Jackson Reply February 2, 2013 at 4:30 pm

    Hello Dan,

    I got two of your programs a few months back and I just want to pop by your site and say thanks. I was going through a rough time after the break up and simply by using your 21 ways to get a girlfriend I got myself four new women in two months and I’ve had sex with three of them. It’s great to be back in the game. I’ve got a lot of confidence now and feel happy and positive about the future because I know I can get many women. I will choose one soon for a committed relationship but right now I’m just having fun.

    Thanks and thanks again!

    Jackson

    • Dan Bacon Reply February 5, 2013 at 3:13 pm

      Hey Jackson

      Thanks for sharing your success so far.

      I’m glad you’re out there enjoying yourself with women and honored to be the one who showed you the way.

      Enjoy the great times ahead!

      Cheers
      Dan

  12. Rich Reply February 25, 2013 at 5:04 pm

    Hey Dan, Great website It’s helped me emotionally quite a bit. I Have just gotten out of a relationship with a girl I have been dating for 6 months, on and off. She has a bit of a temper and says things she doesn’t mean and usually “breaks up” and the next morning acts like things the night before never happened. But recently the thing that changed was she dumped “again” but then got a new boyfriend-hes a guy we both know and she knows that I especially don’t like, and have been dating for about a week. So after reading some of your other articles I decided to just let things be for a while, to try and get over it. Here’s the problem, when she sees that I don’t talk to her, text her, make it hard for her to “get ahold of me on the phone” answer her skype calls. she suddenly goes from into a bad mood for whatever reason shes mad at me, into a “I’m not mad at you just talk to me” attitude, even though shes dating this kid I dont like that she claims she really “likes”. I havent been responding her texts and I plan on not answer her calls. And I told her this just night and just this morning I wake up with a text from her saying “I cant get over how much this kid looks like you”-hes a person in one of her classes that reminds her of me. I was reading the other articles about letting her know you’re happy with or without her. But the fact is I’m not, and every time she tries to get in contact with me I make the mistake of giving her the time of day. Recently I was talking to one of my pals about skyping with another girl and she called me and said “why are you skyping other girls, I don’t want you talking to that whore”. When she obviously has a “boyfriend”, so it shouldn’t matter than I’m talking to another girl, so I my pal ask why it mattered and she gave him the answer “I dont care, if he talks to other girls”. She still gets jealous though when I do talk about other girls. Bottom line is when I try to get away from her, I find her still trying to get ahold of me as if shes can’t believe im ignoring her, and I’m wondering if that means she still has feelings for me, even though shes dating that kid I dont like? She isnt the type of girl to want attention from more than her current boyfriend, but she seems to still be wanting it from me. If these are signs that shes still interested in me. What can I do-such as ignore/not ignore calls, talk to her more ofeten/less, etc.-to use this situation to my advantage and would lead her back to me? Thanks, -Rich

    • Dan Bacon Reply February 26, 2013 at 7:14 am

      Hey Rich

      Thanks for your positive feedback and question.

      She is using you to feel better about herself as she gets over the break up. When you’re not calling, texting, etc she worries that you don’t miss her and like another girl. So, instead of feeling the painful emotions of rejection, loss, sadness, fear, etc she wants to have “feel good” emotions like confidence, self-esteem, feeling valuable, feeling wanted, feeling loved, feeling missed, etc. In most cases like these, as soon as the girl finds a guy that she likes more than you, she will dump you harshly and use your pain to make herself feel good.

      Cheers
      Dan

  13. walter Reply February 26, 2013 at 8:52 pm

    Reading this article reminds me of a very close friend of mine who is in sort of a bad situation right now. About a year ago he met this girl from his previous work. She isn’t very attractive and by my standards, even below average. (My friend openly admitted that he was only desperate to get a woman though.) So here’s the thing: Right now, he’s not sure if he should break up with her. And the girl is probably feeling that right now (based from my observations) and is desperately trying to get him attracted again. (This is just my opinion, but I think that this girl rarely gets any suitors and that’s why she’s working so hard for this idiot friend of mine.)

    He told me his problem while we were drinking one night, and I told him that he’s a complete and utter idiot for getting himself into a relationship with a girl that he wasn’t even THAT interested in the first place. He then told me that he can’t break up with her. Because then, he’d have no girlfriend. (Which I think was a really lame reason) Personally, I think they’re being unfair to each other. But I’d really like to get the opinion of a specialist on this one. What do you think Dan?

  14. Iain Reply March 1, 2013 at 11:45 am

    Hi Dan

    Nice site, I’m going through what most of the guys here are as well

    All was going well, until we had a difference of opinion, not an argument, just a discussion…this led her to say a couple of days later that our discussion made her feel like she was back with her ex (he mentally and physically abused her)…I was gutted…she decided to call it a day and after seeing her face to face she told me she didn’t have the emotional energy to continue with us, (but said loved me to bits and I was so right for her)…and everything else in her life…..it seemed so clinical the way she cut the ties, from both being so happy, till 48 hours later she didnt want to continue….you can guess the last weeks have been very difficult….but I dont sense this from her…she seems to have put me in a box abd put the box in a filing cabinet…she has sent a couple of emails which were quite positive, i.e. remaining friends…etc…but since then i have had no contact with her and only one email replied too…I must say I have given her the space she wanted and in over three weeks I ave only sent two emails….I feel that even to try and form a friendship is very difficult being at a great arms length…..my question is….not embarrassed to say i love her too bits, I wish i could get angry but cant…but whats the next step, if any?

    From one confused guy??

  15. Roy Reply March 3, 2013 at 7:08 pm

    Hi Dan,
    It’s me again. I have gotta good results so far with women. I know how to do mostly everything the The flow but I just don’t know the Playful humor. I just don’t know how to come up with good playful humor. I know I know, you have to apply it but is there any other way to improve my ability to use playful humor without approaching women? Like a way to practice it to get good enough to use it? You would really help me out tremendously and probably here a success story from me soon. Thank you so much in advance!

    • Dan Bacon Reply March 5, 2013 at 12:34 pm

      Hey Roy

      Thanks for your question.

      Yes, if you’re too afraid to approach women and practice, we have created 21 Great Ways to Get a Girlfriend. In that program, you will put yourself in situations where you are surrounded by women who want to talk to you. It also comes with a 30 Day Challenge that starts off really easy and gets more and more challenging as you go along.

      Check it out here: http://store.themodernman.com/in/e8ead2

      Cheers
      Dan

  16. Robert Reply March 14, 2013 at 6:40 am

    Hi Dan,
    Question.
    I am ALPHA.
    My woman has and still is tryng to impress me in every way.
    She was talking about getting married 2x weeks ago.

    And all of a sudden she wants a 4 week break to find herself.

    None of the signs you mentioned above or in previous articles were applicable.
    Sex was amazing, she was buying me things, etc etc.
    So confused.

  17. James Reply March 18, 2013 at 5:46 pm

    How do you know if a woman is testing you or if she just has a bad attitude? (Perhaps in the dating phase)

  18. Stephen Reply March 25, 2013 at 2:03 pm

    Some of this article hits home for me. Recently my gf and I broke up because she is having trouble dealing with issues from her past and has depression. Mainly it’s an ex that just won’t let her alone and move on. It does seem like she has fallen out of love with me and it hurts a lot. We still talk a little bit via text but obviously not like we used to. Do you still think I can get her back? She broke up with me before the holidays for the same reason and I stood by her and supported her and we got back together in January but again, just about 3 weeks ago she broke it off again.

  19. Sean Reply April 9, 2013 at 12:24 pm

    So much of this and the other responses resonate with my relationship. I work away from home. When I met my fiance at university I told her that I didn’t want a relationship as my job had destroyed my previous relationships. She persisted and we ended up together. We had lived with each other from the first day we met (flatmates first, then got or own place the following year) the only time we were apart was when I was at work. My fiance struggled to make friends, but got lots of make attention. Last year she was hanging out with another guy for a week whilst I was away on a 4 week trip (that turned into 9!). She phoned me and told me what happened and that she felt horrible for spending time with him and that nothing had happened. I hated my job but stuck at it to support us both (she is still studying and I was saving for post grad studies). In january she told me that she couldn’t handle me going away much longer and asked me to quit my job in september. We agreed that if she picked up more shifts at work I would quit sooner. My last trip in feb killed us. I hated the ship I was working on and had promised to quit after that trip. My fiance was ecstatic and spent the next couple of weeks telling me about all the things we could do.

    2 weeks before I was due to come home she went out for a cocktail night with the mature students association (she is the youngest, 23) and then stopped talking to me for 5 days after it. She finally have me the ‘We need to talk’ chat over facebook whilst I was 1500 miles away. She told me I had caused her to take an overdose and that our relationship was over. I had 9 days before I would be homeand could do nothing. We had no phones so I couldn’t even call. She told me she needed space and to figure out who she was and if I wanted us to have any future I had to leave her be just now. When I got home I found out she was seeing another man from the day after we broke up. I had to leave my home and she spent my wages I’m anger. It had been over a month and the few conversations we have had she had told me she still sees a future for us, but not right now. I lost my job a week after I got home. My life had flipped upside down in a month. Despite her now being involved with this other guy I still love her and see a future for us also. Our friends have told me that they think she will come back but is embarressed to admit she handled things badly. I’m trying to focus on grtting my life back on track, but am finding it difficult to maintain motivation with no job our home at the moment. Shit to hear there are so many going through the same thing, but glad to read your stories.

    • Dan Bacon Reply April 15, 2013 at 9:56 am

      Hey Sean

      Thanks for sharing your story.

      Man, that must have been difficult to hear that your girlfriend wanted to break up, but you were 1500 miles away!

      It sounds like she at least kissed that guy at the cocktail party, but may have slept with him. To get this woman back, you will need to be working closer. It seems like she did a good job of being faithful for a while, but at her age it is difficult these days. Women don’t normally settle down for life at that age, unless they meet a man who ticks all the boxes and can guide her into deeper feelings of love, respect and attraction.

      With your woman, you either have to work close and be around her, or find the type of woman who won’t tray no matter what. If your friends are saying that she would come back, but is embarrassed, simply reach out and talk to her and say that you understand that she strayed because you weren’t around for so long and you know that she probably doesn’t feel very good about it. Then, meet up with her and re-attract her when you meet her. If you don’t know how to make her feel deep respect and attraction for you as a man, I recommend that you watch Better Than a Bad Boy: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89

      Cheers
      Dan

  20. Nick Reply April 12, 2013 at 3:46 pm

    Dan,

    My girlfriend just broke up with me because she fell out of love with me a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, I cried and texted her for a few days after that in the hopes for her to change her mind. I love this girl more than anything in the world. I know I did some things that showed me as pathetic, but is there any way I can get her back? Please help me…this girl is the one.

  21. Arup Singha Ray Reply April 17, 2013 at 3:03 pm

    Hi,Dan whats up!I think yur days is going happily …before going farther I hav to introduce myself,I am living in India,I workat ICICI PRUDENTIAL LIFE INSURANCE Company. Im single,im 22years old guy who realy searching for a good, swet, honest, loyal, understandable soulmate ..but see my unfortunate luck I didn’t find her yet ..but once I had lots of frnd nd girlfriend ut my main problm is tht if I want 2move fr a relatinshp im nt able to make it properly ..I want to know tht What would be the Qualities when “a girls love a. boy or what is the hidden secrets behind pick up a unkown girl…..I feel lonely sometimes ..as I feel bad when I seen guys who down frm me had a permanent girlfrnd ….sometms a get cruel,disrespect,ununderstndable regarding my family nd frnds …it might be happens frm dissatisfactn on mind nd heart …u tell me as a godfather tht what should I do??how to hold a relationshp??I would be very great full to u tht I got tht oppertunity to talk with u …u r like Angle in my life plzzz…………..dan help me out frm ths nightmare plz……

  22. Shehab Porscha Reply April 19, 2013 at 3:17 pm

    hello, now my story is, that me and my girlfriend, we were best friends before us dating, and when we dated we dated over a year, now the things were as follows, she is the type of women if she changes with someone she will automatically will never come back to what she used to be, so what happened is my stupid actions and me messing up badly, and hurting her, she stopped being her self with me again, so she asked for time, now I’m falling in love with her more and more each day that pass’s we still talk but not much like texting most of the times that she is free, we drop texts and we do tell each other that we miss each other but other than that she dosnt show me her emotions, i’ve bought her couple of gifts, a ring and a neckless with a letter, yet she loved them but she didn’t give me that chance yet.. now in this case i’ve been fighting for her and trying to get her back, and today i’ve sent her about how we should sort things out together and if we get back together we will fix things and work it out for sure, and yes I’m keeping my word and am asking her for this last chance.. coz i believe i won’t mess up again and i believe that she is the right one, yet i need her so badly back, and I’m welling to fight for her more, coz as my mom said that if u love something fight for it to get it back and try to get it back and never quit. so i hope if u can give me couple of tips for me to tell her and win her back and let her get back to what she used to be, like being her self again and so. coz this is the problem. she isn’t being her self. this is a short thing from a long story. and i honestly miss her and love her so much.

    • Dan Bacon Reply April 22, 2013 at 11:26 am

      Hey Shehab

      Thanks for your question.

      Your mother’s advice is correct when applied to many areas of life. However, the way you are using her advice is incorrect in this case. For instance, you don’t fight to get your ex girlfriend back buy BUYING GIFTS for her. Your ex girlfriend lost respect and attraction for you for reasons that CANNOT be fixed (AT ALL) with gifts. Fighting to get her back involves fixing the things about YOU that have been causing her to lose respect and attraction for you.

      Watch this free video to understand where you went wrong and what you need to do to get her back: http://www.themodernman.com/how-to-get-your-ex-back-free-video.html

      Cheers
      Dan

  23. Alex Reply April 22, 2013 at 2:25 am

    Hi Dan,
    My girlfriend broke off our 5mth relationship about 6 weeks ago. During our time together, sex was good, and attraction was there but towards the end she said “It’s tiring to be around you, I’m not trying as hard as I did last time” and stuff like “all my relationships I always end up being a mother.”

    After reading your articles on ‘how to win an ex-girlfriend back’, I knew immediately that it was my fault that I was a needy and a mentally and emotionally weak sorry excuse for a man.

    In specific regards to my situation, before she actually broke it off with me, we had a week of “break” where she wanted to see some self-improvement in me. However, during this time, she was hanging out more often with another guy (much older, we are both 20 and he is 27) whom she is close friends with. I found out that he likes her and she also had always liked him since before we met but went for me instead because she liked me more. That weekend, I got so needy that I went to her house to check up on her where she officially broke it off with me and told me “not to fuck up” and cried.

    The first 3 weeks of the breakup I tried desperately to get her back. I did things like study (which I promised her id do but never did it during our relationship) and being manly to no avail…she could smell my desperation and usually towards the end of every encounter ill go about getting angry and upset at her/guilt-trip plead her to take me back, in which she’ll respond by leaving. During this whole time, she was seeing more of the other guy, going out on dinner/movie dates and she mentioned that they have kissed.

    The last 3 weeks really baffles me, as I was getting the hang of the notion of moving on…she starts to text me and gives me mixed signals. I was overtly confused so I decided to go over to her place and have a talk about this once and for all. She said “I like the other guy and we are just friends.” We go to the same uni and unfortunately for us, planned our timetables together at the start of the year. I asked her why she gave me mixed signals by holding my hands for brief periods of time during lectures and leans her head on me. Her response was “I thought I felt something but I was wrong.” Hearing that, I told her that we can’t be friends and I am moving on. In my mind I thought she was keeping me around in the case of if I became better she would choose me instead of the other guy. It just seemed so shallow. This happened last week.

    Despite my rather straightforward indication that I wanted to move on because I knew I couldn’t live like this for the rest of my life (where she is in my every thought), she persisted in the mixed emotions. Firstly by sitting next to me in class, leaning in and resting her hands on my legs then looking really sad and saying that it hurts for her too. By inviting me over to her house to “study,” where I left briefly after looking at her text to the other guy (like how she used to texted me, her boyfriend, using words like sweetie and stuff disgusted me) and only 3 days ago(Thursday) jumped on top of me and seduced me where we kind of had foreplay before she said that we should stop.

    I met her last on Friday where we were studying and we got into an argument and I said “I don’t understand why you’re upset if we’re just friends” and she just walked away really quickly, pretending nothing was wrong. After lunch and cooling down, we studied a bit more and minor things happened such as when I asked her why she doesn’t just go out with Alex and she said it’s complicated and joked if I wanted to duke it out where I responded that “it’s a waste of my time.” She got upset and said “don’t say that.” Also, she made snide remarks that “we have very different kinds of humour, because I was too serious and around her (being a weak man and giving a damn about too many things) I gave her a lift home and she gave me a hug and thanked me for the lift/lunch and left.

    Its been two days since we have interacted…I don’t know what/where to go from here.

    I need some advice on what to do from here on out…

    • Dan Bacon Reply April 22, 2013 at 2:29 pm

      Hey Alex

      Thanks for your sharing your story.

      This is a pretty clear case of you having a chance to get her back and her HOPING that you will suddenly “man up” and become an emotionally strong man, but you continually slipping up and giving her the power.

      While most women are perfectly capable of taking the lead in a relationship and taking care of the guy, THEY DON’T WANT TO. It’s not what makes a woman feel SEXUAL ATTRACTION. If your behavior, energy, thinking and actions don’t make her feel sexual attraction, then she is naturally going to lose interest. You have a chance to get her back, but you have to change quick before she finds a guy who behaves/thinks/acts like a man. If that happens, you’ll be completely out of the picture until he is gone.

      I recommend that you watch Better Than a Bad Boy http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89 and go through the transformations that will happen when you watch the program. Then, follow the advice from their to build on your mental and emotional strength each day until you can naturally and consistently “be the man” around her and in life.

      Cheers
      Dan

      • Alex Reply April 23, 2013 at 8:50 am

        Thank you for your advice…we just had shopping together and it was a pleasant change from the tension between us. Before she left, she stared into my eyes as though she was really sad, in which i responded by staring back and saying see ya and driving off promptly…

        Heres my question:
        -What do I do about the other guy that she is (dating) idk what they are?

        -She touched and asked for hugs many times today, when do I make a move on her physically? Should I touch her and how without coming off as needy?

        -We have been texting to each other in prompt no bullshit text “where are you?” “im here”…should i mix it up? How should i be texting her? Again, without sounding needy..

        -How often should I be asking her out to “hang out” if at all? Should I be waiting for her?

        Cheers

  24. Zaire Reply April 25, 2013 at 8:07 pm

    Hello Dan,

    I have broken up with my girlfriend for almost a week and half now. We have dated for nearly 5 months. The reason of the breakup was because we texted more than we talked in person since we can only see each other during school (whereas we are busy with schoolwork and such) and a dormitory isn’t an option. She thought our relationship status fitted the word I have dreaded, “friends” better than “sweethearts”. However, I doubted this was the only reason. If there was more than one, this was the one she told me.

    And I admit I started the relationship because I was clingy and needy (which I have never realized since this is my first relationship so I didn’t have any experience knowing) and I needed someone to depend on. It was only after the break-up I found out I was wrong to do this. The point of the relationship was wrong and misguided, but the love I had for her was true.

    Also, I thought if I gave her choices of what she wanted to do or let her win most little disagreements, she would be happy. However, being inexperienced, this had the opposite effect. I realized I needed to be the alpha male for her and make decisions for her. She had also informed me during the relationship that she hated to be given choices. Again, I overlooked this sign.

    I wish I had been more educated on relationships and how to keep her happy. I now realized I needed to be more confident and alpha. The good thing is, despite that I was already ready to commit completely to her, I never begged her or acted desperate, partly because by my own instinct, I didn’t want to make her angry or reduce my chance of gaining her back.

    I had done so much things for her, such as curing her depression that was related to her personal life problems that she couldn’t solve for years. Right now, I’m engaging the NC rule (No Contact). Before I started this, I had sent her a message saying this:

    “I just wanted u to know that even though we aren’t together, I’ll always be there for u and if u ever need to talk to anyone, I’m here. I would still do anything for u.”

    Was this the right choice to make? I was wondering that because girls love the feeling of security, but at the same time, I could also be permitting her to see other people, which is a bad side for me. However, she hasn’t been in a rebound relationship or is currently interested in any other men, so I have that advantage.

    This is our first relationship and I’m not sure if any of what I have done are proper steps to attempting to gaining her back. I want your opinion and any honest advices on this. Reply back soon.

    • Dan Bacon Reply April 29, 2013 at 5:52 am

      Hi Zaire

      Thanks for your question.

      This is a pretty simple one: She liked the idea of having a relationship at the start. It was what is commonly referred to as “puppy love,” because it was your first loving relationship with a girl. However, bit by bit, you ruined her attraction for you and, since there was no sexual attraction, but there was a relationship, she eventually just felt like a friend to you.

      If you want her back, you need to make her feel sexual attraction for you and to respect you as a guy, instead of seeing you as the sensitive, feminine boy she now sees you as.

      Cheers
      Dan

      • Zaire Reply April 30, 2013 at 9:08 pm

        Hello again Dan,

        I see your point and it all makes sense now.

        Which one is a bigger factor in creating sexual tension, the female or the actions and what actions can I do to create the tension?

        I have been acting as soon as possible on this and I’m making myself a better man, improving my self-worth and confidence.

        My only progress is she has made contact to me first via texting in a 3 1/2 days no contact period. This was exactly 2 weeks post-breakup. This proves she still misses me, although I’m not jumping the gun yet.

        Your fan
        Zaire

        • Dan Bacon Reply May 6, 2013 at 8:09 am

          Hey Zaire

          Good to hear that you’ve been improving your confidence.

          About how to create sexual tension: That’s the type of thing I discuss in my programs. If you want to learn how to make her feel intense attraction and respect for you as a man, you will need to watch Better Than a Bad Boy: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89

          Cheers
          Dan

  25. Daniel Reply May 8, 2013 at 9:32 pm

    Hey Dan,
    i feel desperate having to learn how to be a better man from another man. However i also really want things to work out. so basicly i was in a long-distance relationship with a very special girl to me. she claims that the feelings arn’t there, but i’m about to fly out and meet her(maybe stay if it goes well) but now shes seeing another man long distance and says i can come visit still as a friend but i really want to win her back and she knows that. i learned a lot from small mistakes i made and i learned a lot from seeing some of you free previews. my real goal is to get her to leave him(and he is an ass, thats not just my jelousy either) and come back to me. any advise on how to get her to see i’m better than this guy when i get there? and how to work up her attention between now and my flight. i’d appreciate anything to get this girl back. please and thank you, Dan.

    • Dan Bacon Reply May 14, 2013 at 5:28 pm

      Hey Daniel

      Thanks for your question.

      It’s great that you’ve learnt a lot already from watching my free previews. If you want to learn more, you need to watch this program: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89

      Cheers
      Dan

      P.S. Flying out to see her before learning from my program: Bad idea. You’ll likely turn her off on levels you don’t even realize. However, I do wish you the best of luck.

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