Has this ever happened to you?

If you’ve ever gone through the confidence-killing experience of losing a girl FAST, then make sure that you read through this page. Here is one of those situations in the making…


“Hi Guys, How’s things? I have a problem that I need your help on, today. I was shopping for some clothes the other day and was being served by a very cute 23 year old, so I decided to use the techniques from 21 ways. We got chatting, some banter, chemistry, and we arranged to meet, tonight.

I gave her a quick call yesterday to confirm. Some more banter and we’re good to go. It’s a public holiday in Brisbane tomorrow and she’ll be out with her friends and I’ll be out with mine. All good. My problem, now, is that I have a fever, I’m running on about 30%, my throat is packing razor blades and I have these huge crevasses around my eyes (very attractive).

Also, I am typing this at 4 in the morning and can’t sleep. So, my dilemma is that I don’t want to cancel. But, if I meet up with her: 1) I’ll be running on low batteries; and 2) I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate me spreading my germs around.

So, what would be your advice? Can I postpone and not lose the good ground? Btw, the Dating Power video is amazing. Have only watched the first 2 video parts and already noticing the difference. Cheers, Ian (34) Brisbane, AUS”

Reply From Dan

Hey Ian

Here’s the thing…

You’ve done well to get a woman’s phone number in a clothing store, by using the techniques in 21 Ways. It is awesome to hear that you’ve actually put the techniques into practice and can now see how EASY it really is. Well done.

However, you have a HUGE problem that needs to be fixed right away: DESPERATION. You say that you’re sick with a fever, your throat feels like it has razor blades in it and you have crevasses around your eyes because of the fever, but you are STILL considering going to meet this woman for the date you organized. I’d bet my left leg that the reason you REALLY want to go to the arranged meet up regardless of your sickness, is that you’re worried she’ll meet another guy if you’re not there. True?

Look, it’s a valid concern if you haven’t had much success with women, but let me guarantee you something here: Desperation & neediness leads to failure with women 99% of the time. There’s probably no faster way to lose your opportunity with a woman, than by being needy and desperate about it. Going out to party with this woman and her friends when you are FEVERISH (and contagious) is simply not cool.

Imagine this scenario…

You weren’t sick and decided to meet up with the women that day to party. While you’re all out and having a great time, another guy comes along to join you who is VISIBLY sick. What is your reaction going to be to him? That’s right, “Go home dude…get some rest!”

Anyway, good work on using the techniques to get that hot, young woman’s phone number. I appreciate that you understood what it could mean if you do go to the part. As you said, “But, if I meet up with her: 1) I’ll be running on low batteries; and 2) I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate me spreading my germs around.” Exactly, so don’t do it. You’re obviously starting to get some good results. Just don’t stuff it up for yourself by being needy or by doubting her attraction for you.


“Hey guys I have the Dating Power video and am enjoying it thoroughly. It’s improved most areas of my life, not just dating…I’ve been having casual sex with two women I’ve met in the last month or so…but, your advice has also increased my confidence at work, around friends and generally my understanding of social dynamics.

I feel like a bigger and more powerful person now – thank you. I have a question about a girl I met recently. She works at a bar in town. We had a little bit of interaction, some joking and she was wearing non-matching earings, so I did a whole thing about that.

She recognized me the next night and we had a brief chat, but it was a busy night. My question is what could be a method for moving it further with bar staff? The dynamic is tricky: nights are busy, interactions are brief, unless it’s a quiet night and it’s a bit weird hanging around the whole night. What do you reckon? Dave, Massachusetts, USA”

Reply From Dan

Hey Dave I often get asked by guys, “What do I say to women to keep conversations going and keep them interesting?” As your story demonstrates, flirting and making conversation with women is about PAYING ATTENTION.

You noticed that she was wearing earrings that didn’t match, so you playfully made fun of that and joked about it with her. Well done. As you would know from watching Dating Power, women are PROFOUNDLY attracted to guys who have the ability to be PRESENT in the moment and experience what is going on right in front of them, rather than being all caught in their head and insecurities.

About your question of moving it forward with female bar staff. We explain EXACTLY how to do it in 21 Ways, but let me offer some pointers here based on your story. You said, “She recognized me the next night and we had a brief chat, but it was a busy night.” Fantastic!

The fact that she noticed and talked to you the next night is great. It sounds like you did a great job of sparking her attraction & interest in you, because if she didn’t like you, she would have tried to ignore you, or gone back to treating you like a standard bar customer. Often, when meeting women in places where they work, it takes more than ONE interaction to progress to a phone number. This is usually because they have to focus on doing their JOB, so they don’t get in trouble or annoy their fellow employees. What you need to do from your current point:

  • When ordering drinks, don’t always go to her. Mix it up and order from her maybe 50% of the time.
  • When she comes to take your order, crack some more jokes, like, “Oh, not you…the bartender girl with the mixed up earrings…”
  • Talk to other people in the bar and have a good time there.
  • If possible, go in a little bit earlier with one or more of your friends. Use the quiet time in the bar to chat to her a little more.
  • Then, if you are getting solid signals of interest – get her number.

By the way…

If you want to hear 5 UNCENSORED, REAL-LIFE STORIES about picking up female bartenders, then check out 21 Ways. Many of the women working as bartenders are single and often take up the job to meet more people. I used to work as a bartender when I was hopeless with women and about 70% of the women I worked with were single, or just casually dating.

Most guys don’t know how to handle the process of meeting and getting the phone number of female bartenders. So, there is hardly ANY competition. It LOOKS LIKE there is loads of competition because there are usually heaps of guys in a bar venue, but 99% of guys approach female bartenders in the wrong way. If you get it right, it is really easy to get a phone number or even have sex with her after she finishes work.


“Should you tell a girl you are a virgin? Because i am inexperienced i would not know what to do and would feel really insecure because a girl may have had several partners and if i got on well with her she may be disappointed i dont match up, and i worry about contraception methods so is it advisable to tell her, or would it turn her off?

It probably may not be best to do it during the rapport process cos you dont normally talk about sex anyway, but if i went somewhere with her, would it be appropraite then? Aiden, TX, USA”

Reply From Dan

Some guys see sex as a BIG DEAL and get all worried about it. Some guys see it as normal and natural. Which guys do you think get more sex? Aiden, you need to stop worrying about it so much and just DO IT. Humans have been having sex for a very LONG time. It’s normal, natural and there is nothing to be worried about if you wear a condom.

If you are concerned that you’ll disappoint her, then here’s the bad news: You probably WILL. Why? It’s a huge turn OFF for a woman when a guy is worrying and stressing out during sex. On the flipside, it is a huge turn ON for a woman when a man just goes with it and enjoys it.

It gets worse…

When you’re worrying and being nervous, it forces women to have to “mother you” or “baby you” through the process. This is VERY unattractive because women are sexually attracted to confident guys, not scared boys. At the moment, your approach to sex is making it a stressful idea for you, so you must change the way you think about it. When you do, women will feel more sexual attraction for you based on your confidence. About bringing up contraception while you’re getting to know a woman: Using condoms is something that is DONE. You don’t need to talk about it unless a woman brings it up. Don’t talk about condoms, just use them and get on with having sex.

Success Story

“Hey guys Just wanted to let you know – I have been studying the dating power seminar and have achieved great results in less than a month!!! I met a cool gal last week, followed your steps and techniques, and now have a sexual relationship.

My ex-girlfriend whom I am friends with, all of a sudden notices a good change in me, and wants to catch up with me on the weekend. Both gals are paying for stuff and can’t get enough of me it seems. Thanks Dan, Ben, and Stu, your teachings on approaching, flirting, and then taking the lead have led me to impressive results.” Eric, CA, USA”

Reply From Dan

Eric, you’re doing The Modern Man proud. Well done and enjoy the great times ahead with women. You deserve it.

By the way…

If you’re reading this right now and would like to get a POWERFUL education on the topic of women, dating and attraction, then I recommend that you watch Dating Power. In it, Ben, Stu and I spend 8 HOURS going into great detail and teaching the exact, step-by-step process of communicating with women in a way that triggers a deep, SEXUAL attraction that lasts and grows stronger over time.

We also teach you exactly what to do when you’re being tested by women (e.g. she behaves in a challenging way to see if you will squirm or if you will remain confident) and how to turn a woman’s tests into even MORE ATTRACTION for you. You’ll also learn HUNDREDS of specific techniques for approaching women, getting phone numbers and emails, kissing, escalating to sex, dating and relationships.


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