Is there a woman you really like, but you're not quite sure whether she is interested in anything sexual with you? How can you find out if she likes you for sure before you risk making a move?
The great way to find out if a woman likes you is to flirt with her and if she flirts back then it usually (not always) means she is interested in taking things further. A more advanced way to get past the point you're currently at with her is just to assume that she likes you. Why? Women are mostly attracted to a guy's confidence, so when you assume that a woman likes you it allows you to feel, think and behave in a more confident way around her, which then makes her like you more. See how it works?
Attraction is an automatic reaction that humans experience and when you make a woman feel sexual attraction for you, she can't help herself from liking you more. However, if you refuse to assume that she likes you and instead behave in a nervous, shy or insecure way around her, then she will LOSE interest in you. Why? Women are attracted to the strength in men and turned off by the weakness, so showing emotional weakness instead of confidence will turn her off.
Women Show Their Interest in a Guy in Different Ways
A golden rule with women is that you should never rely on the woman's signals to fully determine whether or not she likes you. Why? Not all women show interest in a man the same way. For example: Some shy or insecure girls don't show a lot of interest because they are afraid of being rejected by you. Whereas, some very confident girls behave as though they don't like a guy because they want to see if he will remain confident and believe in himself no matter what she does. Instead of accepting a nervous, insecure guy who is intimidated by her and who will probably become clingy and protective in a relationship, she will play hard to get and hope to find herself a confident guy who goes after what he wants and doesn't give up when presented with a challenge.
There are also some girls who enjoy making guys chase after them, only to turn around and say, "Sorry, I'm not looking a relationship. I must have given you the wrong idea." Why do some girls do that? It boosts her self-esteem and makes her feel more confident when she interacts with an alpha male who has his choice with women. Here are just three of the many different types of women that you will encounter out there...
Woman #1: The Friendly, Good-Natured Flirt
Some women are friendly with almost every guy they meet. Sometimes, they will engage in some "friendly flirting" (e.g. girly smiles at you, acting all submissive around you, saying that you're cute, etc), but it doesn't mean that she is sexually interested; she's just one of those people who likes seeing people happy and knows from experience that she can bring a smile to a guy’s face by being friendly and paying some attention to him.
For her, it doesn’t matter who the guy is. It can be a waiter taking her order, her coworker in the office or the delivery man who arrives at her door with a package. Whatever the case, she’ll make him feel like he’s the most important, desirable person in her life at that very moment. Guys who are are not used to getting positive attention from women will usually misinterpret her behavior as meaning that they “click” and are meant for each other. Before falling asleep at night, he will begin fantasizing about how they could have the perfect relationship and how cool it will be to introduce her to his family and friends. Yet, whenever he shows her some real interest, she tends to back away and stop the friendly flirting.
So, how do you know if a woman like this wants to be your girlfriend or lover, or is simply being a "friendly, good-natured flirt"? Obviously, if she treats other men the same way she treats you, then you might assume that she isn’t any more interested in you than she is every other man that comes her way. However, she might be sincerely attracted to you and secretly be hoping that you have the confidence to escalate your interaction to a first date, a kiss or sex.
Mistakes to Avoid
A guy who is inexperienced with women or who has been trying to learn how to be successful with women by watching Hollywood movies or TV shows (i.e. trying to learn from entertainment sources, rather educational sources) will often make the mistake of TELLING HER about his feelings for her. In a movie or TV show, the scriptwriters allow the really nice guy who tries to impress the girl for the duration of the movie/TV show to eventually get her in the end. He usually tells her his feelings, they kiss and then everything is wonderful.
In the real world, telling a woman about your feelings for her BEFORE you made her feel sexually attracted to you usually results in her saying, "I'm not looking for anything serious right now" or "I think we'd be better off as friends." Why? The natural flow of a sexual courtship requires you to first make the woman feel sexually attracted to you, before you proceed to beginning any sort of relationship. For highest success rate, you should aim to kiss or have sex with her first, before you get to any conversations about feelings.
The only way to quickly and accurately determine a woman's feelings for you is to initiate flirting during conversation. If she responds to your flirting by consistently flirting back with you in a sexual way (NOT just a friendly way), then she is interested in you sexually. However, if she responds negatively to your sexual flirting and innuendos, then she only wants to be friends.
Woman #2: The Starved-for-Attention Flirt
This type of woman is virtually the exact opposite of the “Friendly, Good-Natured Flirt” because she doesn’t flirt with men to make THEM feel better; she does it to make HERSELF feel better. She couldn't care less how it makes the man feel. She just knows that when she turns on the charm and men start showing her all sorts of loving and admiring attention, it will make her feel sexy, attractive and wanted. In most cases, the interest she shows in you is all about feeding her ego and lack of self-confidence.
Mistakes to Avoid
Guys who are inexperienced with women or desperate for any female attention, will usually lavish a woman like this with compliment after compliment, gift after gift and never really get anywhere. When a woman like this gets what she wants from a desperate guy, she’ll toss him away without a second thought. She will also be more likely to cheat on him if their relationship goes through a “boring patch” and she starts to feel insecure and unattractive again. She will then look for validation from other men and often fall right into their arms.
Only desperate men accept women like this. A confident man who can have his pick of women will never accept such selfish, insecure behavior from a woman. Sure, he might accept her for a one night stand or for some casual sex, but he would never get into a committed relationship with her. He knows that a woman like her is more likely to cheat than a woman who is emotionally secure and looking for a real man to stay with for life.
Woman #3: The Confused Girl
This is the type of girl who may be genuinely interested in you in a sexual way, may respond well to your attention and flirting and may even kiss you and hug you in a loving way, but all of a sudden she will pull back and go cold on you. Why? In most cases, she is struggling with her sense of identity. She goes through the world behaving as though she is an innocent girl who doesn't want to have a lot of sex, but secretly she wants to be free to do whatever she wants. When things begin to escalate to kissing or sex, she will often pull back because she wants to maintain her superficial identity of innocence.
She may also not want to look “too easy” in your eyes because you might then find it difficult to trust her later in the relationship, especially if she goes out for drinks at a club with her girlfriends. You might think, "Well, it was very easy for me to kiss her and get her into bed, so if an alpha male meets her and she's feeling a bit horny when drunk, who knows what she might do!" Even though a girl like this may want to have sex with you immediately, she’s in a constant mental battle with her own beliefs and morals, so she just withdraws her interest in you even though she really likes you.
Mistakes to Avoid
When a "Confused Girl" suddenly stops showing interest, you need to stay calm and remain confident. Don't start behaving nervously around her, or trying to get her to explain why she is behaving that way. Just assume that she likes you and use that confidence to cause her to feel naturally attracted to you.
How Good Am I With Women?
My name is Dan Bacon and I've personally had sex with more than 250 women. I always kiss or have sex with a woman on the first night I meet her (in bar environments). If I meet a woman during the day (e.g. shopping mall, cafe, etc), I usually get her phone number (or add her to Facebook depending on the situation) and then escalate to sex on the first date. On many occasions, I have escalated to sex during the day when meeting women in environments like a bookstore or cafe.
When I didn't know the dating and attraction secrets that I now teach at The Modern Man, I would go on several dates and gradually try to escalate to sex. In most cases, the whole thing would fizzle out and she'd give me the “let's just be friends” talk before we even got to having sex. These days, I never have to wait to escalate to kissing or sex and never have to waste my time trying to get a girl to like me. Women actually tell ME how much they like me right away and I kiss or have sex with them shortly after that.
Guys who are inexperienced with women or who don't have a proper education on what it takes to be successful with women, make many common mistakes that turn women off at each step in the process from the first conversation, to kissing, during the lead up to sex, during sex and as the relationship begins to get serious. If you find that your conversations and dates with women are not leading you to the type of sex or relationship that you want, then I recommend that you learn how to do it properly.