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Dan Bacon

Dan Bacon - Founder, The Modern Man. More photos

Hey - it's Dan Bacon and here is my story...

Basically, I got to a point in my life where I was sick and tired of missing out on enjoying sex, love and relationships with women. I would see other guys with a beautiful girlfriend on their arm and wonder, “Why can’t I get that? What is wrong with me?” I knew that I was a good guy and deserved better with women, but women just didn't seem to value the traits that I had to offer.

I usually spent my weekends alone or catching up with my one and only friend to talk and hang out. I wanted to meet women, but the idea of approaching and talking to women I didn’t know was something that made me feel very nervous because I didn’t know what to say and feared being rejected and losing even more confidence in myself.

I realized that I was going to have to face up to my fears and do something about it, or I would end up suffering even worse consequences such as: Becoming even more nervous around women, spending more time alone, not being truly loved by a woman in a relationship and never becoming the man that I really wanted to be around women. After years of loneliness and feeling left out, I eventually decided to face my fears and go out to bars and clubs every weekend to approach women until I worked out the secrets to success with women.

Luckily, I met a new friend at the time who was willing to come along with me each weekend and approach women so he could learn and improve as well. I began keeping "notes" on all the things I was learning – mostly ways to start conversations and not feel nervous during an interaction. Apart from starting the conversation properly, I struggled to get any other results because I was being too nice during conversations and would usually run out of things to say. Eventually, after about 200 approaches I began to discover techniques that AUTOMATICALLY caused women to feel attraction for me and want to keep talking to me. I also started experimenting with using different types of humor and sexual flirting and THAT is when I started to make some REAL progress.

Now that women were interested in me, all I needed to learn was how to get a phone number, how to move in for a kiss and then sex that night and how to get women (who didn't want to have sex on the first night) to meet me for a date. Months later (after a lot of trial and error and approaching every weekend), I began to work out the right words to say and the right moves to make, so a woman would give me her phone number and eagerly want to go on a date with me or have sex with me on the first night.

Fast forward 1.5 years and I had achieved the type of success with women that most guys only ever dream of. I was dating and having sex with beautiful women like it was the most natural and easy thing in the world and they were calling ME up and wanting to see me all the time. The best part about it was that I was being myself and women were loving me for it. I didn’t have to put on an act, lie to women or use any tacky or weird "seduction" tricks to get women to like me. It was at this point that I stopped to take a look through all the notes I’d been keeping. I was amazed to discover that it was packed full of techniques, ideas, perspectives and strategies that most men were unaware of. These techniques were allowing me to stand out from all the other guys and make women fall in love with me very quickly. In the past, all I could manage to do was get most women to like me as a person. This was different. Women were now attracted to me, liking me as a person and falling in love with me during the first conversation. It was such a cool feeling to get to this level of power and skill with women.

Over the next year, I cleaned up the notes and put them into the format you can now read in my ebook called The Flow. To make sure that the techniques in The Flow worked for other guys, I passed the draft version of The Flow on to some friends (including Ben and Stu who are now a part of The Modern Man) and they were amazed. My friends who were struggling with women began using the techniques and immediately started dating and having sex with new women. Some of the guys quickly found girlfriends who - at the time of writing this – are still together in the relationships that they found.

As for Ben and Stu, they were already good with women by that point. Miraculously, the three of us managed to find each other at a point where we were all enjoying amazing success with women. I told Ben and Stu about what I’d discovered and how I wanted to share this information with other guys, by starting The Modern Man. They agreed and so it began.

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27 Comments

  • Tyler  

    Come to Athens, GA, USA and give me a Friday/Saturday lesson.

    Really enjoyed The Flow and The Modern Man Master Methods and Mindsets. Inner game is really the way to do it.

    Reply
    • Hi Tyler

      Thanks for your comment.

      That’s a great offer mate. I am hoping to be in the USA by late next year and I will be making announcements on the site closer to the date. In the meantime, if you want to learn the techniques that we teach on courses – please watch Dating Power. It is 8 hours of mind-blowing video that includes inner and outer game techniques.

      Listen to this free clip to learn more about the Dating Power techniques and how we developed them.

      Cheers
      Dan

      Reply
      • Tony  

        agreed, in terms of dating advice, there is A LOT of junk on the internet in the USA. I was one of the lucky one’s to come across the modern man and discover the best secrets about being a man

        Reply
  • Tyler  

    Hello Dan,

    Better Than a Bad Boy looks like another great product which I will be purchasing very soon. High quality stuff you have here, chaparoo.

    Two questions I will pose to you.

    Do you consider each of your individual products enough for a man to become a natural? Could a guy take, let’s say, just The Flow and work his way toward mastery with just the advice you provide in that one product.

    Also, what movies do you enjoy and recommend watching that have actors which come off as genuine naturals who follow your dating Tao?

    All is well
    Tyler

    Reply
    • Hey Tyler

      I loved the “all is well” reference from Mastery Methods & Mindsets. Such a calming mindset that one.

      Regarding your questions:

      1. Yes, I receive success stories all the time from guys who have only read The Flow. However, it depends entirely on what the guy needs to improve. Some guys need to improve less things and are closer to being natural than other guys, so they are able to learn The Flow techniques and use them to enjoy mastery level success immediately. Other guys need additional help to improve their conversation skills, confidence and attractiveness to women. BTW: Since you have already purchased Mastery and The Flow, feel free to contact me here and will reply with a private discount link for you. Note: That offer is available to all existing customers. Just contact me and I’ll help you out.

      2. Wow, that’s difficult to answer because the men are acting to a script and there are usually many minor flaws in their dating approach (thanks to the writers of the movie). So, I’ve never felt comfortable recommending any actor in any movie. However, we do wholeheartedly recommend Bill Rancic who is actually a real person, not an actor. That guy is one of very few men in the world who I can say is a role model for me. There are also a lot of cool men out there who have some great traits, such as Joe Rogan and Morgan Freeman to name a couple of guys.

      BTW: Have you tried the “Exaggerated Personality” technique (based on Hollywood actors) that we talked about in Mastery Methods & Mindsets?

      Cheers
      Dan

      Reply
  • Tyler  

    Ah, yes, your confidence building techniques were my favorite part of the Mastery Methods program. I had already applied a couple of them in my later teen years and I see how unbelievably effective they are in helping a guy step out of his comfort zone all while having a bit of fun.

    Just a short while ago I was reading an article by Psychology Today on battling low self-esteem. The article mentions a man named Albert Ellis who used the same technique as you and Ben to become a master of interacting with women!

    A quote from the article mentioned above:

    Some are brave enough to try “implosion”—tackling a challenge so intimidating that once you’ve made it through, your original goal no longer fazes you. Legendary psychologist Albert Ellis pioneered the “shame-attacking exercise” in 1933 at age 19, when he decided to approach every woman who sat down alone on a bench at the New York Botanical Garden. “Thirty walked away immediately,” he told the New York Times. “I talked with the other 100, for the first time in my life, no matter how anxious I was. Nobody vomited and ran away. Nobody called the cops.”

    And Ellis learned he wouldn’t die from rejection. Of the first 130 women he went up to, he got only one date, he said, but “with the second 100, I got good and made a few dates”—and, eventually, got to be “one of the best picker-uppers of women in the United States.”

    This, along with the occasional Exaggerated Personality technique (when I’m really in the mood for a good time), will be my strategy for learning to be more social with people, and I send The Modern Man team my deepest thanks for helping guys like me who were once paralyzed with an irrational mindset of fear to become more courageous and confident.

    Tyler

    Reply
    • Hey Tyler

      Actually, you need to be careful taking advice from psychologists who are not good with women. I coached a client who had been going to a psychologist for 5 years. She had been telling him to go out and use that approach and it made him worse. I only coached him for two nights and he was cured (and getting phone numbers and kisses). His psychologist then asked to meet me. She paid for me to fly to her state (I was coaching that client interstate) and we all met up at her beach house and I explained the following:

      Telling a guy to assume that he will be rejected will not only make him avoid approaching because he doesn’t want to feel such a painful emotion, but it will also make him see the act of approaching as a bad thing. He will think that he will be annoying most women that he approaches, which is absolutely incorrect.

      After years of approaching, we (The Modern Man) discovered that women actually WANT TO BE APPROACHED. If a woman doesn’t get approached by men, she won’t have much of an opportunity to meet compatible men because, traditionally speaking, it is not the woman’s role to approach. Additionally, there is no such thing as being rejected when approaching. Instead, when a man approaches a woman he is giving both of them an OPPORTUNITY to see if they are COMPATIBLE. If they are not compatible with each other, neither has been “rejected.” Instead, they have simply met someone whom they are not compatible with in terms of a sexual/romantic relationship.

      So, by approaching women in any situation, you are doing both of you a favor. It is a good thing and women do welcome it, as long as the guy approaches correctly.

      Be careful who you listen to when it comes to confidence and success with women and dating. Most men are not highly-skilled at attracting and picking up women and instead “fumble” their way into relationships. Additionally, most women will never truly explain what they want in a man because they fear being judged in a negative way. This is why women almost always say, “I want a nice guy who cares” when they are asked what that want in a man. Yet, they then go for men are not so nice at all and barely care about them.

      Cheers
      Dan

      Reply
  • Tyler  

    Hey Dan

    You really know what you’re talking about. I’ve purchased The Flow, Dating Power and the Mastery Methods and Mindsets and in the programs you have provided all a man really needs to know to attract and have a good time with women. I’m a bit of a natural and I’ve dated a few beautiful women before taking any advice from anyone, and you put many things that come naturally to me into words which express exactly what’s happening within the chemistry of the girl and me. You have also taken my knowledge of women to the next level and beyond.

    The thing that draws me in to your products the most is the social dynamics of it all. I don’t hang out with a group of cool guys like I use to back in high school and all of my friends right now happen to be girls. So, your coaching is guiding me toward becoming a happy, fulfilled alpha male who isn’t intimidated by other guys in the presence of women. Also, I’ll eventually have the confidence to approach small and large groups of people. But what I’m most excited about is the possibility that I can date a gorgeous girl I’ve been friends with for 5 years now. She says she’s not attracted to me but she always gives off the signals when we’re together so maybe things will get to the next level. =)

    Anyways, one more thing I want to ask. Is there any book or program concerning social dynamics outside of The Modern Man which you will whole-heartedly recommend to the layman interested in becoming more of a social guy with women AND men.

    Viva Modern Man
    Tyler

    Reply
  • Scott  

    Hey Dan and team.
    Will you’s be conducting more modern man seminars in the next few years in other countries around the world? Especially the UK?
    Would be good to come along to one, i know you’ve held seminars in Australia a few year back, seen some of the excerpts from your site. I already have to date, The flow. 21 greats ways to get a girlfriend. And interview with a natural (Andrew).
    Please keep me posted on seminar dates, thanks.

    Reply
    • Hi Scott

      Thanks for your question.

      Possibly mate. I’m planning on holidaying in Brazil next year and may then go to California, New York and London to do a seminar tour. I’ll make an announcement if that will be happening. In the meantime, I am currently recording a bunch of new, mastery level video programs to be released this year. [Updated: The new programs are now available]

      Cheers
      Dan

      Reply
  • alex  

    Hi Dan,

    Just wanted to say that you really have great confidence and body language. How did you develop this and any recommendations on books, products not just within the context of attracting women? Much appreciated.

    Alex

    Reply
    • Hi Alex

      Thanks for the compliment mate – much appreciated.

      Like you, I was thinking the same thing in the early days, “Which books should I read?” I went to a bookstore and found books on body language by Alan Pease, etc. However, none of the books were written by authors who were experts at attracting women…especially that Alan Pease guy – he is no ladies man let me tell you.

      Honestly mate, I practice what I teach here at The Modern Man and that is why I am confident and have great body language. If you want the success I have with women and the confidence I now naturally exude, you need to learn from our programs. All of the answers and solutions are in there.

      BTW: Your body language will naturally take of itself when you are truly confident. To build true confidence, you need to go through a process. We explain it in Dating Power.

      Cheers
      Dan

      Reply
  • Rytis  

    Hey Dan, just wanted to say that your material is great, I just starting digging in and learned alot already, now I’m starting to apply it bit by bit, so perhaps I can gain more confidence in my social life.

    I’m currently in a long-distance relationship, and having communication problems with my girl, She used to write me everyday, but now we barely talk, she barely flirts, before that we used to have alot of drama. She sometimes writes me each month to come over visit her, but usually talks cold on phone. Is it my fault that the time gap between talking more often has built?

    Reply
  • Tom  

    Hey man, i’m very interested in pushing the limits of my game. It’ll be great to be able to go out and sarge with you if you’re availble.

    Reply
  • Bryan  

    I have a relationship problem.. hope can seek your advice through email..

    Reply
    • Hi Bryan

      Thanks for your comment.

      Sorry Bryan, I don’t have time for providing advice via personal e-mails. All of my advice is contained in my programs – this avoids me having to repeat myself 1,000s of times.

      I respond to dating advice requests on the site (posted up as comments) after about 2-3 weeks and respond to customer questions about my products within 24 hours. If I opened myself up to personal e-mails, I’d have 100s of people e-mailing me everyday (we have over 60,000 people on our newsletter list so it would likely be 1,000s). Just imagine trying to deal with that AND have a life.

      If you want me to devote time to help you out, please sign up here: http://www.themodernman.com/phone_coaching.html

      If you’d like to ask me which of my programs would fix your relationship, please reply and ask.

      Cheers
      Dan

      Reply
  • Frankie  

    Hey, I’m lost and I strongly feel that out of all the authors you can be the only one that can put me at peace. I just need to put myself back together.

    I’ve met this girl 3 years ago in november, I was totally an alpha around her. She was soo submissive and everything. We dated for about two 8 months then I went in a trip for 4 months and broke up with her because of the frustration between us. Eventually we got back together a couple of years ago. I was the best time of both our lives. She used to steal on of my t-shirts just to have me around when I was gone, always texted me and messaged me, she always called me. I was the alpha but I loved her. She said she would be by my side no mather what. The only thing is that I didn’t give the same impression because I didn’t want to think she can have me forever. Then she left for a job in another town. She kep texting me, crying how much she misses me, I used to text her once in a while, she always asked me to go visit her and I said I’m too busy she should come here.
    I loved her but I wanted to dominate her so I would never lose her.

    One day she came back home and broke up with me. Said I’m absent from the relationship and it’s not worth it anymore. Then I found out a guy has been talking to her before she broke up with me, a nice guy apparently that made her see she was valuable, and I know she is excited to be with him now. After 2,5 years how can she just quit so fast in a couple of weeks?

    Where did I go wrong Dan? Did I push the alpha thing too far? How did I make a girl that would do everything for me just leave me like that? And most importantly, I know she is with another guy now in another city, but if there could be some way I could get her back, if I could implant the idea in her head that she needs me. But at the same time I don’t want to look like the wimp that is submissive. We have to meet in a couple of weeks for some business, and I have to pretend to be very chill, I know that’s my chance. What product should I use? What do you think I should do?

    Reply
    • Hi Frankie

      Thanks for your question.

      I wonder who you’ve been learning from before eventually arriving at my site. Unfortunately, there is a lot of amateur advice out there on the net these days and too many guys surf around trying to find free advice from anyone and then end up getting themselves into more trouble with women.

      Being alpha and not being needy is great, but you also need to have the right balance of love, attention, affection and wanting. That sounds pretty obvious to you now, so I won’t go into any more detail.

      As for getting her back…

      Most rebound relationships don’t work out, so don’t worry – he should be fading out of the picture pretty soon anyway. If he’s a super nice guy that devotes himself to her and becomes too needy, she will eventually lose attraction for him when the initial novelty of being loved and wanted so much wears off and she realizes that he’s a bit of a wimp. In the meantime, you need to become a total man so that in any interaction you have with her from now on (in person, on Facebook, via e-mail, on the phone, etc) will cause her to feel respect and attraction for you again. When she starts to feel that, she will open herself back up to you.

      The program for you is definitely Better Than a Bad Boy: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89 She won’t know what hit her when you start using the techniques from that program. You’ll notice the changes in how she treats you immediately.

      Cheers
      Dan

      Reply
  • Katlego  

    Hie Dan where in South Africa can I get your books.Or is there a shipping option
    Thank

    Reply
  • Will  

    Hi Dan,

    I used your advice and products to start a relationship with a wonderful girl. We are going on four months “dating” at this point. I have strong feelings for this girl, but I’m confused about how to go about the “love” aspect of the relationship or who should say “I love you” first. Any thoughts or idea on this would be great. Thanks!

    Will

    Reply
  • Ray  

    Hey Dan, loving your series of films and books that i have purchased. Wasn’t sure how else to contact you so hopefully you can help me here.

    It’s been around six weeks since my girlfriend and i split. Together for 1 year 7 months.She in her early 20′s, me in my late 30′s!! We were very good as a couple but i suffered from depression and had a breakdown. Although she stuck by me, it was too much for her in the end. We work together and she now blanks me. And she is seeing another co-worker, although they both deny it. He was a mate too.

    It’s so difficult to see them together in my face and other co-workers are finding it hard to watch too. I am one of the popular guys at work. Their relationship is obviously a rebound. He is not her type.

    Was shocked and so upset to realise that she left me for him while i was in my depressive bout. Most colleagues, especially women are baffled as to why she has chosen him over me. I begged her tell me what had happened, all the tears and anxiety came out right in front of her. But, I never asked for her back. Just why? Of course, her replies were vague, and lies were easily noticed – ‘I need time for myself and have to be selfish and need space’ etc. Space with him?
    Am following your advice (around a week ago). However, I took her off facebook myself, before I read and watched your stuff in a moment of anger. Have had no contact for around 30 days apart from seeing her at work and i say the occasional ‘Hi’, to which she responds or ignores me.

    I was not spiteful or nasty in any way while we were together and we adored eachother. But I became weak and needy and turned her off and she ended up being more of my best friend and I cut my buddies out of the equation.

    Gone was the talk and sincerity she had with myself and friends and family when she exclaimed that she wanted my children and marriage.

    Any advice, and what should I do about facebook? Your vids and books I purchased have really opened my eyes to whats out there and its helping. Im also in counseling and making myself a stronger and better man, slowly and gradually. Looking forward to things to come. Thanks so much, Dan. Ray U.K.

    Reply
    • Hi Ray

      Thanks for your positive feedback and question.

      You should definitely add her back on Facebook. The “No Contact Rule” is not a part of my system and is not something that I ever recommend. It is a rule made up by amateurs who are just guessing what to do. Add her back on Facebook and use the method from Step 3 of the system. You really have to put that step into action.

      I just checked out your Facebook (by searching you with the e-mail you provided with the comment) and your Facebook profile and activity looks cool/good, but you are lacking the important elements that I talk about in the system. Put that into action.

      Also, make sure that you are getting her respect and attraction back when you see her at work, by being the attractive guy that I talk about in Step 2 of the system.

      Cheers
      Dan

      Reply

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